


dandelions blow in spring

by capriicious



Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Haruno Sakura, Character Development, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Haruno Sakura-centric, Lots of Crying, Minor Canonical Character(s), Minor Original Character(s), Mystery, Slow To Update, sakura gets a wake up from the wave mission
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2018-11-29 10:17:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11438796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capriicious/pseuds/capriicious
Summary: sakura is in the land of waves, the seraphic, beautiful place filled with religious and cultural beliefs. her team mate is lying in front of her, dead, cold and so, so white. her sensei is bleeding out while fighting zabuza. her other team mate is fighting against the odds of hundred of senbons.she's useless and the world crashes down.the dead looks up at her.(or: sakura watches her team mates get beaten half to death and bleed out next to her when the fight ends and realises that she's going to die unless she toughens up.)





	1. a wake up kiss from death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sakura, sasuke and senbons have a play with emotions.
> 
> /// warnings for; descriptions of a corpse, blood

Sakura is holding onto Sasuke's body, hands trembling from exertion and knees bloodied from the harsh concreted ground below her and the grazes from falling over. It's too quiet as she leans on her haunches, not one of the fighters paying attention to her huddled form. The yelling and pained grunts echo around her, sounds of blood splatters and a falling body jerking her to attention. 

 

It's Naruto. 

 

It's always Naruto.

 

He's on the ground, one hand planted in front of him as he sprints towards the masked boy in front of him. Almost instantly  he's knocked back, meters away from where he'd fallen in the first place. Growls of frustration and anger tremble his body physically, the knuckles turning pale white-yellow- like the pus that had come out of Sakura's infected injury when she was younger. Looking at the back of Naruto's form, Sakura feels her eyes sting sharply until she's sobbing loudly over the body in her arms.

 

The love of her life, the man of dreams, the knight to her tale, the dead body in her arms covering her in blood and grime.

 

The body in her... arms. 

 

A dead body.

 

Faintly she can hear muffled screams coming from Naruto, but she stares at the chiselled aristocratic features of the body below her and feels her throat tighten as the metal in the body's neck reminds her that she was too weak, and hey. The strongest person you knew was killed just as easily as clicking your fingers together. And then-

 

An insect crawls over her fingers and scuttled up the body's face before taking a  _bite from his face-_

 

She's vomiting just over to the side of the bodies neck, the creamy liquid splatting onto her leg and foot. The insect's gone but so is Sasuke so what does that mean? And then she's spitting out blood and saliva, not being able to bear the feeling of her lips connecting and the feel of the heavy weight below her. The world is spinning around her, too many blues and greens splitting into each other and a flash of blue flickers in the corner of her eye and the red splatters and something flies across her vision and birds are chirping and someone's  _screaming-_

 

And then everything comes into focus, Kakashi-sensei has his arm through someone's frame, a beating heart squished in between his fingers. Time seems to still, Zabuza with his huge sword frozen, something painted on the visible portion of his face. Naruto collapsed against his knees and Kakashi-sensei holding... a dead body with his arm.

 

 _A murderer_  whispers a part of her mind and Sakura opens her mouth to scream except Zabuza is already yelling and Kakashi is murdering someone and Sasuke is  _dead-_

 

"Haku what're-  _NO_ -"

 

_._

_._

_,_

 

Everything is screaming at her. There's another body across from her- it's 5 meters away, limbs twitching and a great big hole that goes right through it- and it's  _beautiful._

 

Pale skin, shy of any blemishes and limbs that hang brokenly around its form. A broken mask and dozens of senbons that spilled out of its hold, poking through the dead pores easily. The androgynous outfit bleeding into red, pools of it soaking through the cloths and a feminine face frames its face.  _Another_ dead body. 

 

Sakura is crying again and she sees Naruto limp over to her, his tanned face contorting as he cries.

 

"Sa-Sakura-chan." He reaches for her shoulder but he stops short of her face before he whips his head around to see something she can't. Suddenly he's staring at her face, wild with emotion and fury and  _relief_ and something she can't place, before grabbing the senbon and ripping it out of Sasuke's face whispering brokenly to him- her. "Sasuke." 

 

"N-Naruto... I can't ho-"

 

"Sakura-chan. Stay, please. Sasuke is- he's alive. I know it. Haku knew it." and then Naruto sprints away towards Kakashi-sensei, away from her.

 

She looks down at herself and her red dress is torn, damp and spattered with mud and grime and dried blood.

 

Suddenly, Sakura's tired. 

 

.

.

.

 

"Gato."

 

"Zabuza, I see you haven't killed the Konoha-nin like... I politely asked you before." Sakura looks back up and there's an old man, a dirty beard and slimy look in his eyes as well as a pristine suit standing in front of them. Zabuza. Kakashi-sensei. Naruto. Her. And... Gato.

 

"You haven't paid for my duties before like you should have. It doesn't seem like you would now," Zabuza is gazing around and his eyes lock onto Sakura's and his eyes soften but then they lay onto the body next to him and- grief. "Besides if I'd killed the Konoha-nin, Konoha would be after me for killing their shinobi."

 

"Zabuza, Zabuza, Zabuza..." Gato shakes his head and he glances to the side and suddenly the men behind him are leaping out, swords unsheathed and a dark grin on their faces. Zabuza straightens, and stares at the couple dozen of men sprinting towards him with boredom. "I didn't like you at all so say hello to that sex slave over there."

 

Sakura stares in a daze as Zabuza's face darkens and his body flickers and he's... gone. 

 

Ten bodies collapse and Sakura stares at a head that rolls towards her, startling when it suddenly gets kicks away. A silence falls over the jeering men before Zabuza appears in front of them and swings his sword lightly, cutting into the non-armoured people. Sakura blinks as blood sprays everywhere from the decapitated bodies and gazes at the blood pooling from its neck, slowly running down the slanted concrete.

 

She wants to vomit when Zabuza drops his bandages from his face and scoops up blood into his hand and swallows it, the red staining his teeth and lips. Scars mar his face, small, silvery and camouflaged with his skin. Blood drips down his face as he laps up blood like a dog, eyes locking onto a vomiting Gato. 

 

"Hello Gato." he almost sings, voice lilting.

 

.

.

.

 

Gato's dead. Sasuke's dead. That boy- Haku is dead. She flinches when a hand touches her shoulder lightly, easing her up until shes hanging onto the breathing body below her. She locks her eyes onto Kakashi-sensei and almost cries because he's alive like the body below her. Kakashi-sensei is covered in blood and grime but she wants to cry and hug him because- because he's the only goddamn thing alive and strong and reliable and-

 

"It-Itachi?" Sasuke murmurs, his chest rising and falling. His lashes flutter and he opens clear eyes up to her and Kakashi-sensei. "Sensei."

 

"Sasuke," Sensei speaks, his voice low and scratchy and  _alive._ "How are you feeling."

 

"Sasuke..." Sakura breathes out, feeling her head snap up to call for Naruto but she stops and stares- almost fondly- as Naruto screeches and barrels straight into them, arms wrapped around their shoulders. "Naruto..."

 

"Sakura-chan it's okay. Sasuke's here."

 

.

.

.

 


	2. sunrises hides the lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sakura talks with the townspeople

Sakura is holding onto Sasuke, Naruto clinging onto their bodies like they're his lifeline- and maybe, they are. And Sasuke. Sasuke- _kun_ . Sasuke-kun. Sasuke-kun. _Sasuke-kun._ He's alive, breathing and brushing off their arms although his eyes are staring holes into their bodies. Eyes hallowed and blank- that lovely dark, dark chestnut-steel colour she'd always loved- fluttering towards Naruto and Kakashi-sensei. Everything's so unreal, so real, so fake that Sakura's eyes sting once again and she clings onto Sasuke's shirt like he might die again. Like he might die for _real_ this time. But-

 

He's alive.

 

He's alive with three holes rippling around his neck tendons and bruised limbs that awkwardly pat her shoulder, almost like brushing off dirt. Just as he pats her shoulder he snatches his hand away, pushing them into his lap, glancing up towards Kakashi-sensei.

 

"Sa-Sasuke-kun..." she murmurs, not even meaning to breathe out his name out so vulnerably. He looks at her, barely veiling his surprise and a flinch from her. Bile sits on the back of her throat when Sasuke inches back. _Breathe. He's alive_ whispers a part of her mind. "How are you feeling?"

 

"I'm fine," a short, clipped answer echoes in her ears and something sinks in her throat, her chest- disappointment crawling up her throat. "Sensei, what happened?"

 

"Gato and his... entourage got disposed of by Zabuza. We'll have to call in back up to take their bodies into custody," Kakashi-sensei's voice is low, scratchy and it makes her think of arms ramming through chests, blank eyes, tensed legs and blood pooling in his hands. "And as well as the... sword. Zabuza will have most of his possessions handed over to his village."

 

This was new to Sakura, having seen corpses kicked, beaten, decapitated and eaten by Zabuza had taken most of her attention while Kakashi-sensei talked to her and Naruto. She glanced over to Zabuza, the mans body rigid and seemingly headstrong as it laid on the ground next to the... the boy. His face, covered in blood and scars made her blink rapidly before she _really_ looked at him. The man who killed dozens of men as easy as whistling.

 

His face is sharp and cruel, rigid shapes carving out a tanned face covered in scars and dirt. His arms are muscular and there's a distinct scar cutting through his chest down to his hips, in a shaky 'Y' shape. The bandages wrapped around his torso, unravelled and revealing thin, silver lines across his hip- ranging from thin to thick lines. His pants are ripped and are _drenched_ in blood from the several bodies behind him. He's rugged and disgusting with sharpened teeth but he's vaguely reminding Sakura of the pictures her father had on her bench one night.

 

He reminds her of corpses that were photographed inside of her father's folder from work. The folders containing cases of workers being killed off by a local aristocratic family for being more successful. 

 

He reminds her of Death.

 

.

.

.

 

It's the next day, a beautific sunrise billowing across the horizon, wrapping its warmth into crooks and nannies. It's 6 o'clock tells the clock on a wall. It's quiet and Sasuke's sitting on the couch when Sakura enters the room.

 

Sasuke-kun is ignoring them- her, posture straight and eyes boring into the peeling wallpaper of Tazuna-san's decaying house. His hair is shorter than it was before, bangs fluttering against his chin and jaw- free of the vomit and dried blood that had clung to it. His skin is even paler than it was before, blue and purple veins shining through his pores under the flickering light. He's almost the same person he was before they left a week ago- except, he's not.

 

None of them are, but they don't comment on it. But Sasuke-kun, something happened. Something Sakura doesn't understand but Naruto does. Kakashi-sensei does.

 

He's gazing at Naruto more often than not, eyes alight with something Sakura doesn't understand.

 

(She does but- it can’t be, all this time when she _ruined_ her  _friendship_ just for him. He can’t-)

 

He's staring at the back of his shirts, the ones emblazoned with the white and red fans. The ones that make his eyes harden and flicker red, the ones that make his jaw clench and make him snap at her and Naruto when they try to talk to him.

 

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura tentatively asks, flinching as he whirls around at her, insult ready to fire on his tongue. She steps back, suddenly all too aware of the sudden... _tension_ he brings when he looks at her- at anyone. _Breathe_ she whispers to herself, the voice in her mind soothing her as her breathing increases rapidly. "Sasuke-kun? Kakashi-sensei wants us at the front of the village at 10. He said we can do whatever we want until then."

 

"Okay." short and unresponsive. _Go away_ Sakura hears. Sakura feels her raised hand falter, stepping back towards the door quietly and quickly. She turned her head, ready to say something- something inspiring, witty, compassionate, just _something._ Just as she was about to say something, she didn't and left quietly.

 

He didn't mention the blood that was sticking to her clothes. To her skin and nails and _hair._

 

.

.

.

 

She's been wandering around the town, the people she'd once passed by with Tazuna-san, brightening once they see her hitai-ate sitting upon her head. She briskly walks pass a smouldering corpse- a child she'd given candy to out of pity. Too many things had happened at once, Gato had ordered his men to attack the town- although they retreated once Kakashi-sensei showed up, too many things had happened before they'd come.

 

"God bless you, kuniochi-sama. May God bless you," presses one thankful man, his arm a stump and his eyes alight with awe. He looks a little too much like Zabuza for her to look at his face without flinching. "Please, take whatever you want. Anything!"

 

"Thank... you." she manages to say, watching warily as the man bows down to her.

 

She wanders through the town, awed villagers bowing to her, their sunken paper skin alighting underneath the lights shining inside the houses. They offered to show her around the village, to which she declined, not being able to swallow walking through the town where Sasuke-kun almost _died._ Where children died because of one man.

 

She walks around a shop, an elderly man and a young woman offering her tea as soon as she stepped in. Sakura accepts the offer, pleased at herself for managing to at least get _something_ out of the mission.

 

They talk Sakura, the old man and the young woman- Sorachi-san she later finds out. Sorachi-san and his granddaughter; Shio-san. They make souvenirs and anything pretty as long as it gets them enough money to live. Sorachi-san forces her to accept their tea, kombucha. Shio-san then offers her matching necklaces, hung on a thin wire and shaped to look like cherry blossoms.

 

"Something for your parents," Shio-san says, eyes crinkling with laughter. "Something for the parents that brought up a hurricane of a kunoichi."

 

She's getting ready to leave, laughter echoing in her ears when something catches her eye. Pausing, she stops and stares at an ornamental piece, pretty and a such a pale blue it reminds her exactly of Ino. The glass shimmers and the pieces hanging from it sound a twinkling noise. It's pretty, blue, and light-weight enough you can barely remember you're holding it. It can slide into hair, tied up in a bun or a ponytail.

 

She buys it without hesitation.

 

.

.

.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh, hi. i've tried posting this chapter at least 3 times but each time it glitches so i've deleted it a lot. anyway i hope you've enjoyed this story so far and continue to look forward to my updates ^^


	3. blue eyes and a pendant make a shilling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> team seven come back home; sakura does not.
> 
> /// warnings for: panic attacks, triggers and mentions of blood

Sakura glances up to Kakashi-sensei, mouth going dry as she sees his hand twitch. She stops, twisting her hands into her pack, and sets after Kakashi-sensei again. He's walking along lazily, feet dragging into the dirt but not really and fingers tapping on his thigh as he turned the pages in his book.

 

He almost looks picturesque, humming lowly to himself and the pages of his book turning with a flick of his fingers. She blushes a little because that's _her_ sensei and it's weird of her to think of him like that so stop it!

 

A bird tweets and soon a flock pass by them, cawing with hunger and Kakashi-sensei's fingers tapping and clicking. Almost immediately, her mind goes to his hand inside a chest- breaking through rib cages and organs, snaking up to push a heart out of a chest. Birds tweeting, blue flashes, cold eyes, blood pooling in his hand, Sasuke's dead body and Naruto being beaten down and down and _down, Sasuke dead-_

 

 _Breathe Sakura,_ presses the voice urgently, panic in their voice. _Sakura. Breathe._

 

She can't hear anything, a whining noise getting louder in her head, fuzzy black insects clouding her vision and a hand on her shoulder. The insects turn white, and then a putrid yellow until soon she can barely stand up straight and her hands are fumbling around her neck trying to find _something_. It's always something. Her hands are shaking and she can't see straight and belatedly she notices that her mouth is moving but nothings coming out. Sakura licks her lips, the once smooth moisturised lips now cracked and bleeding, travelling down her chin in big fat groups.

 

God, she can feel her body shake, shivers wracking her until she leans onto a sturdy _thing._ Unable to identify anything, Sakura cracks and sobs onto the support, pushing her nails into the tall, heavy weight. Heaving breaths in, she collapses and welcomes the fuzzy putrid coloured insects.

 

(Pink is turning to blue to brown to grey to red, pooling in her hands, birds tweeting, blue flickering, green and grey mashing into each other-)

 

 _You're having a panic attack. Breathe in deeply. Focus on your breathing._ the voice is back, afraid and the tiniest broken. So she focuses on the voice, able to wrap her hands around something calloused and gloved to centre herself. Something clinks next to her knee- it's so pale and bony, like a stick that she could snap with her hands- glinting in the sun that falls filtered through the leaves. Shining into her eyes, the pale blue shocks her into falling over to grab it, cleaning it with a one-track mind. 

 

 _Its Ino's_ she thinks with desperation, almost screaming, almost raking her hands through her hair, almost scratching her nails into her arms, almost letting out a choked shout because suddenly its not about it being Ino's but it is that the glint was just like when Haku killed (no, almost-) Sasuke-

 

And then-

 

Everything snaps into focus, her arms are sore and there is blood gathering on her lip and she licks it. Specks of dirt are stuck in her nails and the thing she's leaning against is Kakashi-sensei. Her eyes catch on the pin dirtied and dirt on the edge of it and then she looks up into Kakashi-sensei's eyes and he's saying something but she's too tired and she just rests there as he talks slowly.

 

Naruto and Sasuke-kun stand around her awkwardly and she flushes in embarrassment. Did she always have to be the weak one breaking down? 

 

_._

_._

_._

  
She's ignoring them, white knuckles clutching her pack and something at the back of her mind niggles at her, a scratch, an itch but-

 

She doesn't know  _what_ though. When she'd snapped into focus she had almost immediately cleaned Ino's pin, until the smell of whatever emanated from it. Her pack meticulously folded clothes and shining kunai's and shuriken. Food tossed away to Tazuna-san's family and a mini first-aid kit packed into her bag. Everything's in its place, everything's normal and Sakura's frown grew deeper, hating the uncomfortable heaviness in her stomach. 

 

Naruto's also throwing glances at her, boldness outlining his figure as he stalks behind her small steps. He's annoying and she restrains her tongue from lashing out curses at him and Sasuke-kun, knowing Naruto would give her this  _look_ and then  _pout._ And his blue eyes would then do this-this  _shimmery_ thing and tear up and he would start to cry and then Kakashi-sensei would give her this look and so would Sasuke-kun too.

 

So Sakura holds her tongue because blue eyes just aren't  _fair._

 

Sakura frown fading the tiniest as she thinks of her childhood- which all of a sudden, seems like years ago.

 

And then this  _feeling_ hits her and Sakura wants to vomit because God what has she been doing? Chasing after cold, dull eyes, steely determination, burning insults and a dismissing glance, hard hits and a silent demeanour when there was  _Ino._ Ino with crinkled smiles and a pretty accent to her voice when she got too excited, flowers offered to her every afternoon, laughter and warmth and knowing glances when someone mentions something close to a secret and-

 

Something in Sakura  _aches,_ something old and a little bit broken because-

 

She wants her family. She wants to see her older brother and sister, see them laughing in the house instead of being in the Land of Iron.

 

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto interrupts her thought-line, scrunching his nose before he... sniffed her? He sniffed her, and he brought her hand up to him and sniffed it again? Sakura's mind is going blank, thoughts of _what?_ and _punch him Sakura, why're you stalling?_ and also of _i never knew Naruto was a pervert._

"Naruto!" she shrieks loudly, feeling guilty as he winces at her high tone. She lowers her voice. "What're _you_ doing?"

 

"I- I can smell blood on you? Did you wash up after- after-" he stumbles over his words and small choke shakes his frame and Sakura catches his arm and holds it gently, leading him onwards as he gasps out: "I- is that Sasuke's blood?"

 

She doesn't answer. 

 

.

.

.

 

They arrive back in Konoha, mission scroll and reports on Kakashi-sensei's tongue, detailing the mission in each personal view and then... they're done. Well, she's done, the rest of her team have been held back for another "check-up". The Hokage's overlooking her as well and her mouth develops a bitter taste as she walks down the steps. The walkout is cold and unrewarding as she walks past the front desk and D/C-Mission Return desks.

 

She's almost out but footsteps are thumping towards her, getting faster the nearer they are and Sakura turns around and-

 

"Bill- Sakura?" and the voice knocks her over and she's enveloped in a hug with Ino and it's Ino and Ino- "A-are you OK? You're covered in dirt and is that-"

 

And Ino gets a worried gleam in her eyes and she flicks at a brown flake that's covering most of her qipao. She looks back up at Ino, her head shaking so minutely that she worries that she didn't even do it. But Ino narrows her eyes, a thoughtful 'hmmm' and then Ino is giving Sakura a push. The buildings start to blur together and all that Sakura can hear is laughter, breathy complaints about something and the air that whispers in her ears. 

 

Ino's quieter now and the grins left her face but the look in her eyes hasn't so Sakura lets Ino pull her into a room where three tired and fondly annoyed looking men look back up from their drinks. A chorus of 'hello ino's and 'oh hi sakura-chan's go around the room.

 

"Hey Father, can Sakura stay over for a bit? She needs some time to rest with some people that are actually emotionally competent." Sakura splutters, whipping long hair out of her face to see a completely serious Ino. It doesn't help that only one of them look affronted and that's herself _._ They just met and Sakura's not even sure about what's going on and have they made up or something? "- in my room. Seeya!" 

 

.

.

.

 

They're lying on the futons, already in their yukata's when something clicks in Sakura.

 

Ino's hair is let out, blonde hair spilling onto her shoulders messily, before she scoops it over her shoulder and punches Sakura for a stupid joke. Her face is clean and her pupil-less eyes are shining with happiness as they chat and laugh at Sakura's random pun. And just as Sakura turns her attention somewhere else, Ino smiles. It's not the usual flowery, pretty smile but its something a little warmer and she tangles her hands into Sakura's hand without her noticing, fingernails pale and hands small and calloused.

 

And then she laughs, flowery and pretty yet rough and Sakura is reminded a little of her Grandfathers home with the swords that are never cleaned and the jagged look in Zabuza's eye and-

 

"Billboard-Brow, what really happened? Didn't you guys go out on a C-Rank?" Ino's face is gentle and Sakura gets a blast of deja-vu as she lies on the floor, chatting with Ino. So she talks and talks and then she's crying so much she can't even speak but even then Ino is patient and gentle and Sakura gladly accepts the warmth that on her side. They lie there like that, holding hands and staring at the ceiling when Sakura breathes out shakily and turns to Ino.

 

"Thank you, Ino-Pig." Ino smiles widely and starts to chatter on about her team and how Shikamaru is so  _lazy_ and Chouji always goes along with him and  _ugh_ can't someone on her team take this seriously? Sakura returns it back with how Naruto is  _always_ yelling and Sasuke-kun is a little too  _cold_ and Kakashi-sensei is  _always_ late! 

 

Oh, that's right.

 

She forgot to give Ino her present.

 

"Ino?" she says, feeling her face colour as Ino smiles slowly at her. "I got you a present in Wave, do you want it?"

 

Ino stops, staring at the box Sakura somehow got out in her daze and a smile lights up her face. She grabs the box, staring at the pale blue, glass pin for awhile before gazing at Sakura with an emotion Sakura couldn't name. And then she looks again and she sees relief and _happiness._ "Can I?"

 

Sakura feels something warm settle over her heart as Ino awes and giggles over the pin.

 

.

.

.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um, that wasn't meant to happen uh...
> 
> hey look at this bonding i'm so proud of them being less awkward


	4. silver linings in clouds aren't always good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kakashi thinks about his students.
> 
> /// warnings for: dissociation, survivor's guilt, mild hallucinations- from the sharingan.

POV: Hatake Kakashi

 

When his team is back in Konoha, he breathes a small sigh of relief because _what did he deserve to get these kids._ The two front guards stare at them with little to no interest and Kakashi really wants to maybe dump his small cute team onto Anko and then go to the Memorial and stay there for Obito. But no, he has to go and take his small team ist are literally up to his thigh to the Hokage and do their report.

 

(Sakura's face pales as she stares at one of the guards weapons- a flimsy reflection of Zabuza's weapon but close enough to be startling. Sasuke looks close to murdering someone in a violent defence as senbons are juggled in one of the guards hands and Naruto in all his glory rises up and leads the two towards Kakashi.)

 

Kakashi looks at his genin and forces back a wince. Because-

 

Because maybe, if Kakashi was a less experienced soldier and less _there_ he wouldn't have paid attention to his only girl genin. Pink hair and green eyes- exotic and glaringly bright- and hands that are tightly wrapped around her skirt. Maybe he wouldn't have seen her and only Rin in her place.

 

Maybe he wouldn't have noticed the stark difference between her usually healthy paleness and her bruised gray pallor. Or how her eyes were flitting around and not focusing on anything but weapons and blood stains in Naruto's clothing. Or how Naruto was an inch away from burying Sakura in a hug and how Sasuke seemed to have grown an emotional capacity to care a little about his teammates.

 

("Look now, bastard," the fake-Obito whispers in his ear, hands tightly wrapped around the injury he received from Zabuza. "Your very own broken genin.")

 

But he's not so he leads them up to the Hokage Tower and hopes with all that's left to hope that they can survive.

 

A small whisper of regrets andsomething screaming- _Obito_ _-_ and Kakashi looks at the Hokage.

 

The Hokage's looking away from him and at Naruto and Kakashi instantly wants to scream at the familiarity between him and Minato, Sasuke and Fugaku. But he doesn't as he's had many years to compartmentalize anything he felt and become a monster with a cherry on top.

 

"How was your mission, Naruto-kun," it sounds like a kindly put question but Kakashi straightens minutely as an ANBU (Is that Anko? he thought she left) started signalling and getting him up to date on an Orochimaru sighting near Konoha. 

 

Naruto instantly begins spinning a fairy tale of death, lying, honour and the two bodies that Kakashi sealed into a scroll. Sasuke butts in with corrections and glares at Naruto whenever he exaggerates the story too much. And- and Sakura sighs softly and jerks to attention at the grin the Hokage shares with her but Kakashi doesn't pay attention to his team as they let out a nervous giggle- he stares at the wall where the ANBU continued to sign.

 

(Orochimaru is a faint memory, silent and something not quite there as he stares at comrades like they're his next experiment.)

 

Sarutobi-sama smiled, warm and fake and asked one question that seemed to have broken all of them. "How're you all feeling? That was a mission well above what you should ever have experienced you know."

 

Naruto stills, face deathly pale and Sasuke shifts uncomfortably, a crease furrowing his brow. Sakura chokes a little and Naruto fumbles with his words before laughing awkwardly and rubs his head- everything points to Minato and Kushina's actions when feeling uncomfortable and Kakashi chokes back on a sob because- and he turns to Kakashi. Sakura starts and then stops and she pulls the team closer, hands gripping tightly into their clothes.

 

They look at him with desperate eyes and Kakashi cringes back and ruffles Sasuke's hair.

 

"I think," here he swallows preparing for the nightmare to unfold. "I recommend this team to have a group talk and decide if they all want to go to a psychiatrist together or by themselves or both. Naruto it's for the best and Sasuke you should know better, hm? Sakura I would go over this with your parents soon, yeah?"

 

The looks he receives makes him cringe but he pointedly looks at them and they shuffle around, touches and looks being shared and then they nod at him. Hokage-sama nods once and Kakashi swallows at the steely look in his eyes.

 

"I see," he says, and Kakashi wants to scream and go back to being an ANBU agent. Anything but this. "Sign your team up for the monthly-check up and make sure to refer all of your team to the GSP Yamanaka Suzuran and psychiatrist Hoshiko Takeshi. They're the duo for Genin checkups."

 

.

.

.

 

It's Thursday of the Global Calendar, the 5th month of the year 1587.

 

Kakashi is in front of the Memorial Stone. Again. The stone is a normal rock stabbed into the ground and the names on it have a golden tint to them- some more than the others. Kakashi stood a meter and a half away from the stone, bobbing his head to it in a small prayer before he stopped and stared.

 

His gaze landed on familiar names- Obito, Rin, Minato, Kushina, Biwako, ANBU comrades and comrades in all but teams- and stayed in his usual position. Back straight, head lowered and eyes on one name. He ignores the suns position and the niggling thought of _Minato-sensei would be so unhappy with you leaving your genin by themselves._

 

( _He wouldn't be happy with any of this_ Kakashi wants to scream, his surge of emotions sparking chakra in his hands. His throat clogs, air barely passing throughhis throat and his hands have blood  _redredredredredredredred_ on them. He withdraws his hand from his wrist, wiping his dripping hand on his pants and shoved them back into his pockets.)

 

He's been told he is prone to ignoring words and action in favour of just  _doing_ something.

 

He agrees with the thought ignoring the ANBU that flickers past, the two women talking about adopting a child together, the genin covered in sweat running past in a dead sprint and the lone man that wonders up to the Memorial Stone with mochi in hand.

 

The man sits down into  _seiza,_ hands clasped together and the mochi placed between him and the stone. He begins muttering prayers and apologies until he finally stops.

 

(Obito flits past him, Rin right behind him and they turn to him with their faces blank. Rin holds his hands gently, the tattoos twisting into curved lines and whispers  _why._ Obito is screaming, a hand on his throat- it feels so real and Kakashi can't breathe- Obito bringing himself closer until he's screaming loudly at him _whywhywhydidyoukillherkakashi-)_

 

Kakashi wonders to himself, as Rin holds his hands and Obito screams. Maybe it was wrong and he could've found Jiraiya-sama and they could've helped Rin.

 

He turns around and leaves, Obito's grasp on his neck tightening. He  _shunshin's_ and arrives behind Naruto and slides into his usual jovial, lazy Jounin-sensei persona. Maybe it's just him trying to bring a bit of Obito into this world but who minds as long as he can keep Obito's name to the world. Maybe he should introduce his students to his team?

 

"Hello, team! It's time for training."

 

.

.

.

 

(Haruno Sakura is small. So, so small. She's the smallest student he's ever had, long since the shortest ever since Naruto started growing.)

 

Sakura is small and looks the tiniest bit broken and Kakashi is tall and broken so he sits on his haunches and asks what's wrong. She starts crying, throwing herself into his chest and Sasuke and Naruto are standing in front of him looking confused and lost and a little scared. Kakashi ignores them and looks back down at his student and- _eye bags, less sleep; nightmares, muscle definition in arms and legs, cuts and bruises on her body; training horribly without any help-_ his hands flutter awkwardly around before he puts them around her shoulders awkwardly.

 

She looks up at him after a while and it's deathly silent and Kakashi's on edge when her eyes are watering and her hands are calloused when they were soft-

 

"Sensei," she starts, voice wavering and he can hear her heartbeat is pounding and she's breathing too fast so Kakashi pats her on the backto calm her down. "Am I.. weak?"

 

 _No,_ he wants to murmurshoutscream, _no otherwise you would be like me._ Instead, he shakes his head and says, "You aren't. You survived Wave didn't you?"

 

Sakura starts crying again but her chakra is fluctuating less sporadically than it was before and it's less choppy so Kakashi tries to calm her down and tell her its fine because they're all going to get therapy from the C-rank. She cries more and he summons his pack in a blind panic. God, he's never met someone whose cried as much, but then again everyone he knows is dead and everyone else is soldiers with a little too much to lose.

 

They stare at him and he's panicking a little too much so he says nothing and gestures around limply. They understand though- _god he loves his pack_ \- and they jump onto Sakura. Naruto's pulled in seconds later and so is Sasuke.

 

Kakashi breathes out slowly through his nose as they all lean into his ribs uncomfortably. Sasuke and Naruto on his left and Sakura on his right. Something in him softens as Sasuke snappily replies back to Naruto with  _idiot_ and Sakura leans into his waist to peer at the two boys bicker. His pack sprawl over their legs and Kakashi blinks as Naruto asks if they're still doing training.

 

He laughs. Maybe it's a chuckle but it's something he hasn't done genuinely for a long time and crinkles a smile at the kids.

 

Something inside of him roars- 12 years of apathy and a box calling him a monster and Kakashi isn't paying attention because his genin are all bickering and Sasuke is finally smiling _,_ Naruto has a family and Sakura is laughing so much as they all huddle together. And maybe he's not quite there, his mind lost and his attitude even worse but the kids are smiling and he forgot that they aren't soldiers with years of experience but kids that have been out of the Academy for 3 months and 4 weeks.

 

The roaring hasn't settled down yet and Kakashi hasn't even noticed yet as he settles so he can protect them more easily and his pack are barking and the kids are laughing as Sasuke is being licked until he can barely breathe without a dog in his face.

 

He smiles as Sakura laughs at Sasuke's flabbergasted face and he finally places the niggling thought in his mind.

 

.

.

.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the year i set the timeline it is in the 1500s and has absolutely nothing to do with our world.
> 
> GSP- ok so i totally made this up but it's; General Shinobi Practitioner
> 
> ALSO I'M SO SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T POSTED IN AWHILE BECAUSE I WAS SICK AND THEN I DELETED THE STORY CHAPTER BY ACCIDENT SO I HAD TO WRITE IT UP AGAIN.


	5. the sun shines on my eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sakura meets the GSP and psychiatrist.
> 
> it doesn't end well.
> 
> /// warnings for: panic attack, self-doubt, politics, mentions of forced sex and sex workers

 

Sakura is clutching her hands to her chest, a heart in her throat and a thrumming in her legs, her mind telling her to  _run away as fast as you can._ The man sitting at the desk smiles at her, teeth glinting white and he types into the computer, clacking sounds thudding into her head. A slow whirring sound filters through the modern machine, a clink, a clank and a slow sound of papers printing from another machine.

 

A small coffee table containing magazines and riddles. A machine that dispenses water into paper cups, males and females littering the waiting area.

 

She folds into herself as a thud, thud, thud peels away at her five senses.

 

She can’t think, breathe or see and everything is fading but not really, a chair and a desk and a male and shouting and a clutter of shoes thud, thud, thudding past and a person coughing-

 

A person coughing, a hand covering their mouth and something trickles behind their fingers. Phlegm's not in their hands and something dark dribbles past their lips, past their hand and it-

 

A splat on the floor, someone shrieks and a hand on her shoulder and-

 

Sakura breathes sharply as Kakashi-sensei’s hand taps out patterns and some codes she learnt in the Academy. The tapping continues and Sakura breathes out slowly, in quickly. Everything blurs and a white noise fills the empty space in her head.  _Sakura,_ her Inner says- named after countless times of calming her down,  _Sakura we're inside of Konoha and your sensei is next to you. He's worried about you, so calm down for him._

 

“Ah, there you are. Come one in.” someone looks up, gratitude swelling up as they walk over to the masculine voice. A small laugh and the door shuts with a swift click.

 

“Haruno Sakura?” a feminine voice fills her ears and Sakura stands up quickly. Kakashi follows her slowly and Sakura stiffens as she nears the soft voice. “Ah, there you are. Can you come follow me with your guardian?”

 

A stiff nod and Sakura walks behind the muffled chakra with reluctance. She feels the crisp air wrap around her uncovered arms and it brings back fuzzy memories of Zabuza and his teeth. She breathes out slowly as the female smiles and leads her into the plain room.

 

The walls are painted cream and one is painted a mint green, a table with paper folders and a computer is situated next to the door. Two chairs sit against the mint wall facing towards the desk. A bed lays opposite of the chairs and medical tools litter the room, tablets and syringes neatly lined against a cream wall. Sakura shivers and lets Kakashi-sensei gently lead her to a chair and sit down next to her. The female smiles and Sakura tries to stop her hand from flying to where her weapons would be- all taken into a box registered with her name.

 

"So," the woman says briskly, smiling faintly as she shuffles through the paperwork Sakura and Kakashi-sensei had worked through. Her eyes flit through the lines of words Sakura had written and stopped for a moment, smile fading. Her smile comes back instantly and Sakura doubts even seeing it fade. "Haruno-chan right? I'm Yamanaka Suzuran and I'll be your GSP for your time at the clinic."

 

Sakura feels her mouth drop into a small 'o' as she finally takes in the woman's appearance. Dirty blonde hair tied back with a simple jade ornament, a heart-shaped smile with a mole on her cheekbone, fair olive skin and... brown eyes with a pupil and Sakura sits back in confusion. She glances down at the Yamanaka's clothing and stifles a flinch at the glare of the clan pin. Most Yamanaka's have faint pupils that nearly match their iris' but not her.

 

"I wear contacts if you're confused about my eye colour, Haruno-chan." Yamanaka-sensei laughs breezily, a wave of her hands washing away Sakura's suspicions. Until she peered at Yamanaka-sensei's eyes and saw the clear space where contacts should be, were not. Maybe a bastard child?  "Many shinobi's are wary of our Clan's eyes and its... capabilities."

 

"Oh," she says and feels a wave of paranoia crash and drown her in doubts of the woman's trustworthiness. "Why am I here?"

 

"Your first C-Rank I gather was not the best timing to go into the Wave," Yamanaka-sensei says calmly as if Sakura didn't see her teammate get murdered in front of her eyes and  _come back to life._ "So the Hokage has suggested to acclimate you with your emotions."

 

.

.

.

 

The session finishes after an hour and leaves Sakura to stumble around Konoha to find Team 7. She doesn't have to she finds, as Naruto skids to a stop in front of her, an arm on Sasuke-kun's elbow.

 

Naruto's face twitches in worry and Sakura struggles with the feeling to throw herself down and cry apologies for being useless and that she'll train _more_ and become _stronger_ and that she swears it on her Clan that she'll become a better teammate and less annoying and that she's sorry-

 

"Sasuke-kun! I'm sorry I was late I was-"

 

"Hurry up, you irritating welp. You're wasting our time to get a mission," a cold voice and a cold stare face her and Sakura shrinks into herself as Naruto holds back from yelling, almost bursting about how she isn't useless. Something, however, seems to burst in Sasuke-kun and he continues on his voice getting steadier and steelier.

 

"You waste our time with incessant yelping and whining and expect us to always help you with the simplest things. You're a kunoichi and you act like a pathetic beggar towards me. And I know of your bloody infatuation with me and it's pathetic. I'm working hard to get to where I need to be and what're you doing huh?"

 

Oh. 

 

Sakura steps back, feeling something in her mind whisper angrilyand clenches the D-Rank paperwork in her hands tightly.

 

"Oi, Sasuke don't say that to Sakura-chan! She just got out of that Yamakama-ladies office! Plus she's working _just_ as hard ya know?" Naruto faces Sasuke, angrily jabbing at him. He turns around just as quickly to face Sakura, a smile on his face. "Oh, Sakura-chan don't listen to the bastard, he's just being an asshole because someone stole something from him! Do you have a mission? Where's Kaka-sensei, hm? Oh! How was the session, was it Ok? Our group ones soon right?"

 

The barrage of questions hit her, a million words coming out of Naruto's mouth at a time. 

 

"Oi, dumbass shut up."

 

"Thank you, Naruto," a small smile on her lips, hands clenching onto the D-Rank mission scroll tightly. Promptly ignoring the annoyed face of Sasuke-kun she turns to Naruto and holds out the scroll. "Yes, it's for a... lady in the Wisteria District. She needs help with painting the walls of her house a new colour and overall renovating her house. It's got a timeframe of... a fortnight?"

 

Sasuke-kun's face twitches at the mention of the barely-out-of-the-redlight-district-district and Naruto rolls his eyes and swats at his arms.

 

"What about Kakashi-sensei? Where is he?" Sasuke-kun asks and Sakura flushes at his look.  _God,_ she's such a dumbass. "Well?"

 

"He said that he's been called to a meeting and that he'll meet us there at her house."

 

"Woah, that's a lot of work to do huh?" Naruto says, grinning lightly at Sakura. "Should we go?"

 

They walk towards the client's house, a civilian house with broken down fences and words engraved into the walls of the house. She stares at the house words spelling out  _fag, whore, slut_  and _fucking foreigner._ The rest of her team don't look too happy and she watches as Naruto's face goes frighteningly blank before a weak smile wipes it away. They awkwardly meander to the door and stop, looking at each other with complicated expressions.

 

She and Sasuke-kun share a look and his ears go red as Naruto mimes something to him. Sakura turns around and he's whistling softly, arms locked behind his head.

 

Sakura watches as a curtain is pulled back and a person peers out at them before it's dropped and they hear nothing.

 

Sasuke-kun is already knocking on the door and a woman steps out with a limp and a tight smile on her lips. The client's endowed enough to be respectable and not considered uncouth, smooth dark skin reminding Sakura of the trees in her garden and the cat she used to own. The client is almost as tall as their sensei, arms wrapped around her waist and wary eyes watching them from a distance.

 

Her smile stretches across her face and brightens her face as they painstakingly fix the front of her house. 

 

.

.

.

 

"You can stop after an hour and have a snack," she says, coming back out after a while with a tray of tea and mochi laid neatly onto it. She places it down and sits slowly, holding her leg with a shaking hand. "And relax before you continue after eating. I don't mind if you stop for a rest."

 

Sakura glances back to the woman, a blush on her face as she stares back. She doesn't say it but she's entranced by the woman, her skin darker than anyone she's seen, hair cropped to her scalp and her eyes a blinding pale green stand out on her dark skin. 

 

She wears a grey shirt cut off short tucked into a hakama, a sash around her waist and though the fashion is strange in Konoha, it suits their client like a leaf does with a tree. 

 

Sakura wonders where Kakashi-sensei is, worry washing over her annoyance of him not watching over them because he _said_ he would be here. She snaps her head up as the boys walk over to the client, not glancing at her until the client calls her over as well. Sakura ignores the crack in her throat as she shouts out she's coming. She watches as Naruto whispers furiously to Sasuke-kun, eyes sharp and Sasuke-kun grunts back ears once again red.

 

What _are_ they doing?

 

She sips her tea and watches the boys bicker and splash tea on each other all while she sits quietly and alone. 

 

When her eyes sting she blinks quickly and shuffles closer to their client.

 

.

.

.

 

Her name is Yeung and Sakura racks her brain for a dialect with the spelling for it. She can't remember any of it and sheepishly asks what it means. She's told it means 'sun'.

 

She nibbles on the mochi, the sweetness washing away the bitter tea and Sakura is staring in surprise at the meal.

 

She wanders back to her part of the fence and sets up the paint to drip onto newspaper. She sits quietly on the back of her haunches, ignoring the burn that begins to travel up her legs. The roller goes down and up and she makes sure that the paint doesn't drip down midway the plank. A scream and a yell came from the other side and Sakura bites her lip and scrunches her eyes as the boys continue to communicate and ignore her.

 

 _Ignore them Sakura,_ Inner says, something feeling like its stroking her head appearing in her mind,  _just finish the mission and chat with Yeung._

 

Sakura sniffles and walks up to Yeung, ignoring the annoyance radiating from behind her. Something snaps and she whips around to give them the finger before she slips in next to Yeung's surprised face. Yeung is staring at her softly and Sakura glances at the bruises that ride up the back of Yeung's neck, hidden by her skin and bites back her whine. She looks anywhere but Yeung's face and stares at her manicured hands, mint matching Yeung's eyes.

 

"What's your story? Why're are you injured and what's with your house?" she all but demands and looks at Yeung's smile. She adds on hastily: "You don't have to tell me!"

 

Yeung smiles slowly and over the 2 weeks Sakura works at her house, she learns her story.

 

.

.

.

 

"I moved to Konoha 5 years ago, the weight of the world beneath my feet and my home sealed away into my back. I had paperwork and the savings to live in the Blossom District and the Hokage knew it. He knew and he pushed for me to be an informer, someone to work for the Village even when I said I just wanted to live here." Yeung sighs, and something in her eyes shifts as she continues talking about the Hokage. "The reason he wanted me as an informer was because I think he met someone like me. Someone wandering around and just got information at a smile or something like that."

 

"Where'd you live before Konoha?"

 

"In the Land of the Wind. It's pretty hot and I learned to take only what I needed- especially since I was born in a nomadic tribe that moved every 4 months or so." Yeung pauses, a considering look gracing her face. "Ever heard of the Taea people? I'm from that tribe. I made way through the Land of Earth; managing to get into the Hidden Village of Stone. Then I just kind of... drifted. Heard some rumours that some of my people were here so I came."

 

The Taea tribe is infamous for their dark skin, their speed and accuracy with a bow proverbial and were fearsome people to the unwanted. Warriors rather than soldiers, but despite the difference just as dangerous. The Taea usually do scarification and as Sakura examines Yeung she sees the bumps around her hands, arms and legs. 

 

"A lot of people use my tribe as slaves so I wanted to see if Konoha was just a lying and conniving village with no care to others as well. The Hokage pretty much confirms that."

 

It's pretty much treason, what Sakura is hearing and she swallows her tea as her throat goes dry. Should she report Yeung?

 

"It was a pretty good time I had thought. Wondering around in Konoha and meeting the locals. The markets were a new thing and the lack of worshipping to Gods was new but- it was a good new change." Yeung sighs and Sakura leaves with a small bow.

 

Sakura vowed to herself, that she would report Yeung if she said something else. It could be because she's tired that she was saying all this propaganda.

 

.

.

.

 

"Over a couple months, I conceded and said I would work for him but- I wasn't paid. Never was I paid whenever I came back with something." Yeung's eyes darken a little. "I tried to talk to the Hokage, tried to get a meeting but I instead met Danzo. He said that since I was- since I was a fucking black woman that I  _had_ to be taken cared of. That being an informant wouldn't be the best job for me when I could instead get better information from somewhere else."

 

Sakura shifts uncomfortably, "Is that why you were placed in this area? An area near the Wisteria District?"

 

It went unsaid that the Flower District was the red-light district and Sakura winces and leans back as YEungs face darkens immensely.

 

"I had to become a  _fucking_ _whore_ ,"Yeung spits out, hands balling until her knuckles turned pale. "I had to beg and  _fuck_ until I had enough money to afford this house. And the civilians here are all racist, sexist  _hags_ who don't know how to accept anyone except their own. And then I had to beg and fuck until I could get into a well-known brothel just so I could live here."

 

"... I-I see," Sakura stutters out and Yeung's eyes are bright and ferocious as she looks into almost identical iris' and Sakura can't breathe because she never had any lessons on what to do when a civilian is being used for the bettering of the country at the price of their own life _._ "I have to go back to painting, Yeung-san."

 

And Sakura hurries over to her team, ignoring the concerned look that Naruto gave her and the calculating look on Sasuke-kun's.

 

.

.

.

 

Sakura is sitting carefully still, mind working around unknown words and slurs and she stares at the pure despair on Yeung's face. A woman had come by while they were all working and tried to beat her down, luckily Kakashi-sensei was nearby and helped their client back into her house. Sakura stayed with the woman and Naruto and Sasuke

 

She stares at the curves of her hands and lifts one of her sharpest kunai out of her kit. Sakura knows what she's doing is against everything,  _everything_ Iruka-sensei taught her but she can't just- let a civilian die because of Danzo-sama and Hokage-sama _._

 

"This is my kunai," Sakura begins shakily, moving so the boys can't see anything but her back. Her hands are shaking a little and Yeung gazes at her in confusion and something like awe. "And it's one of my sharpest ones. It can cut deeply with little strength, and I'm not sure if this is against your culture to use it but if anyone ever gets too  _much,_ too strong, too hurtful you can use this? It's easy to hide in your sash or hakama-"

 

She's swept into a hug, arms clutching her head and Yeung breathing _thank you's_ into her neck. Sakura is still, hands angling the kunai away from Yeung's stomach and putting one pale arm around her back. She's smiling and something in her feels  _good_ about doing something to help people- because the Hokage threw away someone while putting fake words in their mouth.

 

"Just," and Sakura swallows, looking back down at the kunai in Yeung's hands. "Be careful, shinobi don't like it when civilians have weapons."

 

"Sakura-chan," Naruto's looking at her and Yeung with wariness and something seems sharper about his pupils but then he's smiling and pulling her out of the grasps of Yeung's arm. Sakura gazes at the kunai she's putting into her sash and smiles widely at Naruto. "Sakura-chan we've done the D-Rank so we've gotta go tell the Old Man, 'ttebayo!"

 

"Okay," she's smiling as Sasuke-kun, Naruto and her start walking towards the Tower. "Okay, sure- Kakashi-sensei?"

 

"Hey, how was your mission kids?" Kakashi-sensei smiles and something about him seems more on edge than before. His cheeks stretch wider as Naruto sends a scathing stare and shrieks loudly at  _'how they aren't his kids!'._ Sakura smiles tensely as they're gathered in his arms and they walk over to the Hokage's Tower.

 

"Team 7 reporting their progress in their D-Rank mission, Hokage-sama."

 

.

.

.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kay, so um. i'm so sorry for my shitty updates bc i'm a shit person at having a good release date each week :-)
> 
> anyway, this is actually sakura being stupid and crying and being super awkward so uh, have fun dying aaaaa. oh and their client is based off of a rlly pretty model whose called Bruna Agostinho who is v pretty and has different coloured eyes but that's her face shape and body shape pretty much? and im sorry bruna i don't think of u like that at all. ur awesome :-)


	6. the parents love is tough for delicate flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sakura and yeung talk about their life
> 
> /// warnings for: insinuated abuse, sexual harassment and racism

Sakura knows what her parents would describe her as; sweet, docile and obedient. Pretty even. She doesn’t object to their musings but she doesn’t agree either. Inner would always snap back a spiffy reply and Sakura would spit it out at them, using the excuse of not sleeping properly to her whim. Or even the excuse for not getting a training drill correct.

 

Sakura is a Genin and her parents still treat her such as a child would be.

 

Maybe because she's so used to how other shinobi already treat her with her capabilities and that they're able to push the thought that she's a child to the side but, it's still an annoying scene that she has to act out with her parents.

 

"A Genin," she'd say, smile stiff as she looks at her parents. A fight always happens at the table, be it breakfast, lunch or dinner. "Is an adult in the eyes of Konoha. We're soldiers Chichi-ue, Haha-ue. Not snivelling civilian children who can't look both ways before crossing a busy road. We're shinobi and we're here to protect Konoha."

 

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I can't treat you like a child, Sakura." Haha-ue would always say, a small sad smile pulling her lips. "I worry about you running around and fighting."

 

Chichi-ue would always remain silent but his steely stare would make Sakura close her mouth and be more civil. She might be punished if she kept talking back.

 

A lot of the time, Sakura would feel a surge of guilt at talking back to her parents.

 

They provided her with food and shelter and she just pushed that away to say they don’t care for her at all when they do. They brought her up with love and care and she just snaps back at them because they were trying to help her with her kunoichi career. 

 

Sakura breathes in sharply and buries her face into the cotton cherry blossom stitched pillowcase. The smell of pine-cones and lavenders lull her to move from her bed and sit up. She peers across from her bed and sees someone sprinting across a roof and she shivers as the figure seems to zone in on her and then continue their way.

 

She sits, feet swinging from the side of her single sized mattress, listening to the creaking of her metal frame, the rattle of her one window and the chatter from her parents down the hall. A spark of anger at the chattering makes her clench her fist, the clanking of teacups too much, the sound of muffled words too much, the sound of her breathing _too much-_

 

The stress of Sasuke-kun dying, Yeung’s life being ruined by whoever pulled the strings, not being strong enough, Sasuke-kun dying, blood and screams and Zabuza and birds chattering with flashes of lightning, Naruto on the ground and Kakashi-sensei lying so still- 

 

She pushes off her mattress, hands balling into fists as she pounds her pillow into a fist-shaped pillow. An outcry of rage slips out and she slaps a hand over her mouth and she quickly slips back into her bed, heart pounding. Words drift towards her room and Sakura holds her breath at the sound of footsteps walking past her closed door. 

 

.

.

.

 

Her parents are apart of the Haruno Clan. Originally, they were a samurai clan that raged across the Land of Iron but was struck back by the Second Shinobi War and Namikaze Minato. Now, they mostly do merchant work and get connections and their Clan just grows bigger and bigger. She's the 7th child but 3 of her older brothers were dead by the time she could appreciate them and so was her older sister. Maybe she should've known them better, been nicer and hugged them longer when she was a child.

 

It doesn't matter anymore though because she still has her oldest brother and her older sister to look to. Haruno Touma and Haruno Yui. 

 

Maybe that's why her parents only told her how she was born a couple of days before she turned 10. A little bit after her brother's deaths and a couple months before her sisters. Sometimes she wishes she’d stayed unknowing to the unhappiness her Mother has.

 

.

.

. 

 

“We were put in an arranged marriage due to our Clan’s need for... more heirs,” Haha-ue had told her, arms placed firmly around Sakura’s neck as she fixed her qipao. A birthday present from her Honourable Grandfather, a cheerful old man who always takes time to play with her in the summer. “Remember what our Clan does, Sakura-chan?”

 

Sakura snaps back to attention as Haha-ue poked her cheek with a tired smile. 

 

"Sorry, Okaa-sama. The Haruno Clan is a samurai clan that is- is, uhm... based in the Land of Iron?”

 

Sakura stares at her Haha-ue and cringes as Haha-ue’s face stays neutral. Haha-ue's not pleased that Sakura has been recently ignoring her studies to play outside. Haha-ue hasn't been pleased for a couple of days and she kicks the carpet and idly wonders when her brothers will be back from Iron.

 

“We’re one of the biggest samurai clans that are still employed by nobles and shinobi? We have our Clan House in the Land of Iron, with Honourable Grandfather as our Head. Honourable Grandmother is the Mother of our women and servants...”

 

“Correct and the Haruno Clan here are apart of what?” Haha-ue pushes, tightening the strings around Sakura’s neck, quickly tying a small knot and a bow. “What is the Haruno Clan apart of Sakura-chan, you've got to remember this for the party.”

 

"The Foreigner Union Clans outside of Konoha’s treaty?” Sakura squints and Haha-ue’s eyes tighten and her mouth thins. She smiles warily and pushes her sweating hands into her lap. Don't answer a question with a question pounds at the back of her head. “The Foreigner Union Clans outside of Konoha’s treaty.”

 

“Good and do you remember how you were born?” Sakura fiddles with her qipao and Haha-ue frowns, lips thinning and hands clenching tightly. " _Sakura-chan._ You need to speak up or you won't ever be able to talk with other nobles."

 

“You had me in the Land of Iron? In Winter right? It was in the Clan Hall and you were taken in by Father 3 years before when you'd been in a highway robbery. He saved you right?” Pleased with her recounting of the story she straightens under Haha-ue's blank eyes and warm smile, a flush painting her cheeks. Saved by a knight in the moon, painting a solemn white and silver painting is how they met. 

 

"Once. He saved me." A blink and her eyes went frighteningly blank. "Not anymore."

 

.

.

.

 

Yeung is a blessing for Sakura.

 

Maybe you're not meant to interact with clients after a mission but Yeung sticks in her mind with the melancholic look as Sakura and her team mess around her yard. Maybe she's not meant to have her heart soar when she sees her smile and her face blush at her gentle touches but that's Sakura's problem. She visits after missions and keeps her company in the setting sun, the jasmine tea and food warm and the air cool.

 

Yeung shows her the kunai after one day and it's crusted in blood and stinks of copper.

 

“I don’t know how to get it all off,” Yeung says her face breaking and Sakura stares at the kunai with raging emotions. Someone had gone _t_ _oo_ far, _too_ much and Sakura wants to cry because Yeung is her friend and someone is going to- to kill her because of her job. And then she flinches because Yeung is a prostitute and people were hurting her even worse than before she met her and Sakura holds Yeung's hands tightly, the kunai cradled between their hands.

 

Sometimes she wishes she's Naruto, wishes that she can spread love with a look of her eyes and can brighten someones day with a giggle. So she holds Yeung's hands and hopes that this can at least show how much she loves Yeung.

 

“That's okay,” she says and she takes the kunai from her hands, turning it with nimble fingers. “What you’re going to have to do is take the kunai and soak it in water. We just need to get the blood off and my kunai are always lubricated with oil so it won’t rust.”

 

“Oh…” Yeung is quiet. Too quiet and Sakura is holding a kunai with blood on it so she focusses on making sure the blade is maintained perfectly. Yeung deserves _better_ she chants in her head quietly. Deserves better than all the wary military, politics and horribly cruel villagers. “I hurt a man with that kunai and you’re not… mad?”

 

 _No,_ she wants to scream because Yeung’s just a citizen with a heart too big and a career chosen wrong. _No, I can never be mad at you._

 

Sakura doesn’t answer and she wishes with all her heart she could be like Naruto; optimistic and never-ending love for Konoha. But she is just Sakura, faux-optimistic outlook and the voice in her head. Just Sakura with her book smarts of a high-level Genin and short stature. Sakura with her pink hair and her foreign friend.

 

“I can’t be.”

 

“Oh. _”_ Sakura turns back to Yeung, alarm pounding into her head as Yeung is twisting her hands together, winding them till they tangled together. Yeung breathes in sharply and Sakura is stuck with the dripping kunai in her hands. There's a tense atmosphere around them and Yeung looks close to crying and collapsing.

 

“Yeung?” Sakura wants to cry because her friend is standing with the look of Naruto’s face when he saw Sasuke deaddeaddead on the cold ground. “Yeung I don’t hate you how could I? I-”

 

Her heart seizes into her throat, words unable to come out of her mouth and unable to help her friend. The light is too harsh in her eyes and Yeung’s face crumples with tears as she looks at Sakura’s face.

 

“I can’t.” she finishes lamely, hands wet from her- Yeung’s kunai.

 

Sakura sits quietly afterwards and Yeung offers her tea and dango. She accepts and they sit on the porch, basking in the Autumn sun. Yeung sharply turns her head to Sakura and a look of determination struck Sakura still.

 

“Please tell me about you.” Yeung pauses again, looking as if she's reaching for the right words to string up. "I want to know you as you do me."

 

Sakura is struck as she thinks  _oh_ almost reverently as Yeung leads her pale hands into her own and laces them together as easy as one, two and three.

 

“I was born in the Land of Iron in winter. Uhm… my Haha-ue has brown eyes and hair like mine except it’s always in a _shimada._ She very formal and has very pale skin, like an aristocrat,” she trails off thinking about the small woman in her home submitting to her Chichi-ue. _Young women submit to their Fathers, married women to their husband and elderly women to their sons_ her Inner says. And Sakura thinks  _no_ with so much determination that Inner is struck silent and Sakura ignores Inner for the rest of the day.

 

“She’s pretty. She has a smile that makes my Chichi-ue melt.”

 

“She sounds lovely Sakura-chan.” Yeung breathes out and Sakura blushes a brilliant red at the soft smile she gets.

 

“I guess…” she lets her feet to swing, the deck beneath her thighs warm. “She’s nice when she isn’t… blank.” Sakura thinks back to when Haha-ue laid on the ground after Chichi-ue struck her so hard she almost went unconscious. "But I love her. She's got a dimple when she smiles as well and her eyes are so expressive you'd think there's another world that she can see; something so beautiful and humane that she's always in love."

 

"What about your Father?" Yeung asks and Sakura holds back a flinch as memories like alcohol, drunk women and men and _shouting_ cloud her mind. "What's he like?"

 

“My Chichi-ue… is strict,” Sakura sneaks a peek at Yeung as she begins talking, tone filled with melancholy and fear and guilt. “He repeated lessons into me until I was able to compete against the top students. But he wanted the best for me, you know? He wanted what is best for their child and no matter how they act they still love you.”

 

Yeung doesn't comment on how much it sounds like Sakura is trying to convince herself.

 

.

.

.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a shimada is a hairstyle that was very common among women and especially young women. now it's common for geisha.
> 
> anyway hi!! thanks for reading my story and commenting (sorry for not updating, personal life got a bit hectic)


	7. wisteria and sakura make tears burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sakura thinks and decides to help herself with a walk and talk.
> 
> /// warnings for: insinuated abuse, mentions of rape and murder

Sakura barely sees Ino anymore, the blonde knowing that Sakura will talk to her when she wants and not wanting to pressure her into being uncomfortable. Saying that Sakura waits outside of an Akimichi restaurant the want to socialise with _someone_ that won’t stare at her silently as she fumbles with words and an awkward smile.

 

Someone who won’t judge her as she flinches at loud noises and swords with flinty edges.

 

Someone that isn’t… her team.

 

(Her team is a ghost of its original potential, flickering eyes and thin smiles covering scowls and tremors. Blond hair and blue eyes forever glassy and shifting, dark eyes looking forever at the sun and trees. Their forms are always hunched and pale, the once bright colours of blue, orange and green now an intangible thing of hallucinations and broken dreams.)

 

“Excuse me, ma’am?” Sakura freezes, hands halting to a stop as the server smiles. A tremor shakes through her arm and the server steps closer. “Would you like to step in? You’ve been pacing in front of our restaurant for a while now and our customers are getting quite… antsy.”

 

“Oh… I’m sorry,” Sakura allows the server to guide her into the restaurant. As she seated Sakura grabs the server's apron, holding them still “Uhm- is Akimichi Chouji-san here? I- I would like to speak with him…”

 

“Oh, Chouji-kun? Sure, he’s out helping Akimichi-sama in the kitchen. I’ll tell him that…” the server pauses, glancing at Sakura. “That… a girl is waiting for him. Ino’s friend? Okay, just wait here for a couple of moments?”

 

Sakura nods, a finger pushing baby hairs away from her eyes. She fidgets silently, the rising voices from the hustle and bustle of the restaurant making the hairs on her forearm rising. Toying with the flap of her kunai pack she observes the surrounding area and people inside. The izakaya-type restaurant has shinobi and civilian men flocking to it for a drink and after work hangout. Civilian’s mainly flock to this area to stare at the blood-soaked vests and scars that drag down faces from shinobi. To look at soldiers like animals. Sakura toys with the frayed ends of her hair, the faded pink looking dull and unnatural. _Civilians just look at people with close-minded thoughts, only wishing to know what happens to us,_ Inner seems to be on edge, the thoughts from it being animalistic and angry.

 

“Ma’am?” Sakura flinches, holding her skirt with trembling hands. “Here’s your warmed sake and an oshibori for you. Chouji-kun will be coming out soon so please wait a few moments.”

 

“Ah… thank you.” her tongue is heavy on her mouth, kunai cold against her palm and the smell of robust, warm alcohol strong against her nose. She stares at the sake and looks over to the peeling posters, bright blue colours shouting out _“I_ _s your child interested in becoming a shinobi? Enrollments start from Spring and Autumn”_ to old war posters saying _“All ages welcomed if having these qualifications; physically healthy, mentally strong, basic jutsus learnt? Come to the …  at midday on Thursday.”_

 

Her eyes then drift over to the shinobi eating over the grills, sake bottles littered neatly around plates. Two women and three men sit around, the variety of scars littering bare arms and necks, faces unnervingly clean.

 

One of the women strangely had the facial features of female civilians; pouty lips, pale skin, attractive almond-shaped eyes, heart-shaped face and soft but defined jaw. Almost looking unnervingly like a civilian woman who has never seen the back end of a kunai. It's scary, how different shinobi can look; from being so attractive Sakura's sure that they're actually aristocrats and others looking like the incarnation of an onryō.

  

Sakura avoids the shinobi, guilt building up for not being able to contribute to Konoha.

 

.

.

.

 

“Ah... Sakura-san?” Chouji’s voice wavers, awkwardly glancing between her and his empty plate. “Do you want anything to… to eat?”

 

She doesn’t answer and instead plays with her fingers. Chouji sits stiffly, shoulders straight and cheeks flushed with trepidation. The background noises rise, voices combining into a loud buzz of sounds and the sizzle of grills turning on fill the silence between them.

 

The silence between them stills, awkward and unmoving.

 

“Chouji-kun!” the server comes back almost singing Chouji's name, two hands holding platters of food above their head. Manoeuvring around the drunk customers and shinobi the young male server sets the food down. “Here’s your food; takoyaki as a side and some salted vegetables.”

 

Steam rises up, the smell of salt and butter-soaked vegetables, fried octopus and squid making Sakura’s shoulders relax.

 

“Chouji-san… I wanted to see you,” she begins talking slowly, turning pink as his face turns wary than scandalized. _He thinks I want to use him, I could never do that… never_ and Inner cackles at the small resounding voice that speaks the truth. Yes, she could do that. “Not like that… I just want to talk to you about Ino?”

 

“Sure, what's wrong? Do you need Ino?” he asks concern colouring his tone and places the piece of food in his hand back onto the plate. She shakes her head, the hair tucked behind her ear falling in front of her eyes. “Okay… what do you need? Are you okay?”

 

She freezes at the seemingly simple question, unsure of what exactly she wanted. She… she wants Naruto to talk to her, for Sasuke-kun to go back to how he used to be- all pale skinned and aristocratic with each graceful step he took. For Kakashi-sensei to stop shying away from her, after her big meltdown at training after her Haha-ue yelled and yelled at her to go and do it with Chichi-ue because he _liked the ones with pale skin- like her_.

 

She wants to talk to Ino, to apologise for how she’s been acting because Sasuke-kun suddenly shoved the cold, hard truth onto her that he despises her. And it's not fair because all this time she's been supporting him and-

 

She wants to belong in this world. She isn’t enough shinobi, only ever a paper ninja and isn’t a civilian, too noble for that world of peasants and scraggly thieves but never noble enough for her Clan; merchants and samurai all connected by the terrible string of misfortune.

 

She’s just a formless shape.

 

Unused potential Iruka-sensei had said once.

 

“I… I want…” she trails off as soon as she feels tears prickling. Shame wells up, throat closing up as she chokes out a small sorry and hunches over. “I want… to feel like...like I belong here. I want to be strong without Ino-Pig.”

 

“Sakura?” Chouji’s voice wavers and she shakes her head violently as his worried look snaps into focus.

 

And then she thinks of Yeung, her friend being forced to work in whore houses. Dark skin which shines with bruises and other fluids. Sometimes Sakura will sneak into her house, placing down covers for pillows and tins for food that needs to be kept covered and cool. She hasn’t seen her in a while and she can only think of what that might mean.

 

“I… want to,” she pauses abruptly when Chouji places a hand carefully over hers. She wants to talk and have someone with her and Chouji could just help her because he has those connections and she's just a civilian-born shinobi. “I want us to speak when we need someone other than our friends… to help each other out whenever we need help?”

 

He doesn't stiffen but his chakra wavers uncertainly and his back goes rigid. Sakura ignores the foul feeling on her tongue, watching silently as Chouji muttered to himself and then something seems to click. He stops again, turning towards her with a wary and watchful face- the concern is hidden so very carefully that she almost cries- and bows his head at her.

 

“I’m sorry Sakura but I’ll have… have to talk about it with my Father… before I can answer. I can't offer anything without his say so, you know?” she stares at him, a thought of that isn’t what she meant and Inner cooing at her as her tongue weighs down her words. "Plus, I think you're plenty strong without Ino. Ino's just a bit of a hurricane."

 

He smiles warmly and reaches over to gently hold her shoulders. He seems to be communicating something with his eyes but she can't tell and he just lays his hand over her hair with a fond ruffle.

 

“I'll see you around Sakura.”

 

She leaves with a heavy heart and something akin to relief.

 

.

.

.

 

Sakura wanders the streets of the Wisteria District; aptly described by her father as the whore population of Konoha prettily represented by flowers and hands covering mocking smiles. Sometimes Sakura thinks her Father knows a bit too much about the Wisteria District but she pushes that thought away as she wanders down the cobblestone paved paths and the lanterns that were beginning to be lit. The red, yellow, pink and blue neon lights clashed together and Sakura pushes through the squabble of homeless children playing with a cat and the sex-worker laying a hand on a shinobi's chest.

 

 _Yeung_ , she thinks, _works in this place_. 

 

She didn’t exactly plan to end up in the District of Flowers, crumbling buildings and potholes in the roads every step she took. Nor did she expect to be herded inside of the Sightseeing Theatre. But as she’s led into the back of the building area; a two-story beige area with lanterns hanging from every corner Sakura feels more questions about why she was being taken in and not why they were taking _her_ into their arms.

 

A mistake.

 

But one of the many wrong questions she asked to herself while she was there at the Sightseeing Theatre.

 

As she’s taken in, unable to protest against the women’s smiles and their begging, Sakura’s shoulders relax a warm and welcoming aura falling over her and Sakura smiles at the women at her arms. Maybe because her skin is dark and her smile just as beautiful is why she followed, the touch of Yeung a little _too_ tantalising not to follow.

 

“I’m sorry and your name is? See our employer wants to get some feedback from the public about… what to improve and so on,” the woman has plump lips, long lashes accenting her cheekbones and her eyes curving into a pretty smile. Later on, it looks flat when Sakura thinks through the woman’s chit-chat. “... so your name?”

 

“My name is Haruno Sakura, it’s nice to meet you…” she trails off waiting for the woman to add her name on as well. Instead, a silence hangs in between them and Sakura giggles nervously. “It’s nice to meet you.”

 

A little bit  _something wrong is here_ pounding in her heart as she's led in.

 

The woman smiles, lips stretching out in a thin smile and Sakura’s gently pulled towards a booth. Sakura sits down, blushing furiously as she hears the moans travel through the thin wallpaper and shifts as one of the workers stifles a loud snort at her uncomfortable look. The booth is made of oak wood and vinyl and stains litter the pale caramel colour. It's awkward too, sitting in a waiting room as a shinobi gazes at her with amusement in his eyes and a tilt of his eyebrow says;  _aren't you a little too young for this?_

 

Sakura blushes a brilliant red and the man snorts before he gets up and goes towards the lady beckoning him.

 

“Sakura-san?” the woman calls out and Sakura looks up feeling slightly startled as if she was caught doing something rude or weird and blushes again because she’s a sex worker, what's she going to do? “Sakura-san my employer would like to meet you now. Please follow me.”

 

Sakura’s lead to a small room lit up with gas-powered light bulbs and straw plaited boards underneath her feet. She sinks to her knees, carefully sitting into a seiza with her back straight and feet curled beneath her thighs. The room is dark despite the light and she feels as if she's apart of a slimy business meeting that goes on in books.

 

The overpowering amount of silence makes everything loud and she looks up as the door slides open.

 

Inner is cooing at her, the stone in Sakura’s throat lodged and then tumbling down as a thickly built man with dark eyes, puffy eye-bags, flat nose and tanned skin comes to her and bows deeply. He looks back up, balding hair and glossy eyes and then he speaks.

 

Sakura stills as his voice rises, tatami mats and straw panels surrounding them amplifying his voice.

 

“7th daughter of Haruno Kizashi, a man of Stone and royal descent. With my head bowed and my arms open I beg that your clan please hear my pitiful words.” his voice is husky, sounding like he’s about to cough whenever he sounds out a syllable. He's using an old way of speaking to noble clans and she thinks slowly to herself on why her Father had connections in the Flower District that was beyond having sex. And she sincerely hoped she was wrong because if she's right if her Father is really helping these brothels with their business just so he can have sex with the pretty ladies that have caught his eyes-

 

The slightly off atmosphere she felt from outside crawls into her skin and she holds her hands loosely, brushing them against her kunai pack with considerable care.

 

Sakura is sitting still, back straight and she can only think _something's not right_ _._ She speaks slowly, pronouncing syllables and tones carefully as the man quivers. “Speak and do not waste time with your haste.”

 

She hasn't said those rustic and aristocratic words ever. It's a strange night she thinks. 

 

“My business is being targeted by a rival Clan of yours, women being taken and raped before they’re carted back to my shop. I beg of you, Haruno-sama, please bless our shop with your goodwill and truths.” he bows his head, blinking furiously as crocodile tears drop from thin, sparse eyelashes. “You can depart only God’s truth upon me and I will remember your wisdom. But please Sakura-sama, please get your Clan to help me!”

 

Sakura sits and the weight of his stare only fuels the molten turmoil in her mind. Thoughts of why _me_ why not go to my relatives in the Deer District- why her specifically? Her Father, if he _was_ doing business with this man, would accept an appointment with open arms and help him out with a feverish fervour. Her relatives even! Had a considerable amount of control over the shipping districts that were near them and would also accept this man if he struck a business deal with them.

 

Maybe this man in front of her was stuck in a deal which would ruin his business. But anyway, this isn't her problem. She has no attachment to this man or his brothel or anything to do with this. Maybe she'll get Chichi-ue to scope out why this man was approaching her at this time  _and_ knew what she looked like?

 

"Why should I help you?" she asks and Sakura blinks as a flicker of triumph goes through his eyes before he leans forward and bestows a slimy, smug smirk onto her. "Who are you? Does my Father know what you're doing? Taking his daughter to a brothel without his say so?"

 

"Well, Sakura-sama," and here the man smiles again. Idly she wonders if she should take a run for it and never look back because something seems way more than _off._ "Your Clan  _does_ earn about 25% of the earnings and that's with the tax and helping my business. If they don't help they'll start to lose money as well as the connections. Plus that Clan is a pest to yours, isn't it? Wouldn't you rather get rid of it than let them run around and ruin your business, hmm?" 

 

She startles because-  _25%?_ With the tax? That's beyond a good deal for them and a horrible choice for him. But before she can even say that he's lying he pulls out a contract and low and behold, there's the official Haruno seal. The real deal as she thumbs it absentmindedly. And if this man is saying that the Ieyoshi Clan is trying to steal their business, well...

 

Wait.

 

Weren't her relatives in the Deer District recently in a scandal that involved a male of the rival Clan?

 

Sakura feels her heart sink and the man whispers nothing but trouble _._

 

_._

_._

_._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oshibori is a warm towel to wash your hands before a meal and hachiman-shin is a god of war and a protector.
> 
> as sakura is apart of a noble/merchant clan she has been taught about etiquette by her parents and maids and maybe? her relatives. sakura's mum's side trade in paper and cloths which is generally quite a good business. sakura's dad's side is a noble samurai Clan in the Land of Stone.


	8. business masks and tea leaves for the win

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sakura talks with the businessman and a family member helps her with the trouble.
> 
> /// warnings for: mentions of sexual assault and indicated physical/sexual abuse to mother. her family sucks.

Sakura sits quietly, a haze falling over her mind and she barely remembers that they have training today. But her feet are rooted on the floor and her hands are still clasped around the teacup - long gone cold and the steam only from other customers. She isn’t usually like this, stock still and staring off into the business but her friend is gone.

 

Yeung is a blessing, a smile-shaped like a heart and eyes that scrunch up into slits when she laughs. Yeung is pretty, with dark umber skin and cat-like eyes she makes Sakura blush with each sultry smile and husky laugh. Yeung is a prostitute and that’s okay because Sasuke-kun doesn't like her anymore and Iruka-sensei is too busy to chat, Ino and her team are off on a courier mission.

 

It hits Sakura harshly how little friends she has.

 

Only Yeung and Ino are her friends. Shikamaru only close to her due to Ino and Chouji only giving her worrying glances after their disastrous talk- her disastrous talk she amends. But thankfully she and Ino are talking again and she bade her goodbye only a couple of days ago but-

 

But Yeung's also been gone for over a week and Sakura worries because of those recent events that she's been told of.

 

She shakes her head, shuffling through her pack and making sure that her kunai and shuriken were oiled and clean. _A rusty weapon is a danger- not a tool,_ Inner repeats back at her, a tad bit rougher compared to her sensei’s voice.

 

She’s not rushing to the training grounds, an unusual happening for Sakura but at the moment she cannot particularly care. Yeung is gone and her team judging her for being late is not the most daunting thing for her at the moment.

 

“You’re late, Sakura-chan.” she winces at the light tone, bowing and muttering apologies. Kakashi-sensei just raises an eyebrow before holding up both of his hands. “10 laps.”

 

The laps are huge. The course curving around the edge of the oval and towards the street juncture. Her sensei had quizzed them on how far the area was in width- and with struggle, they managed to get an estimation of 4.5 kilometres.

 

Which doesn’t seem like a lot when she’s only running their usual 5 _laps._

 

Of course- of course, shinobi need to have a basic level of stamina, enough to give them an advantage but Sakura swears that the training Kakashi-sensei pushes them through is for Chuunin, or Jounin no less.

 

It hurts.

 

Course, she can’t complain except to give him a scathing look but. The way he trains them sometimes is… harsh. It’s harsh and cruel and it makes her bones burn from molten lava and make her muscles tear from rocks and poisoned kunai.

 

Most of the time she ignores the stinging in her lungs and the gasp she exhales every so often. It’s grating and husky from the burn and she casts her eyes on Naruto and Sasuke-kun. They always have their backs to her and Inner screeches in anger, pulling up dredges of bitterness that Sakura had hidden away, tucked inside beside her heart ever since she’d been beaten by Sasuke-kun in scores and Ino had given her a sad look when she tried to be- to be equals.

 

But recently things have been changing. Sometimes she'll see in the periphery of her eye, Sasuke-kun has an unreadable look on his face. Naruto is less loud, but he seems... happier? And Kakashi-sensei was actually  _training_ them for once.

 

Naruto’s jacket is covered in blood and dirt stains, stitches running up its sleeves and the line distinguishing blue and orange. It’s not as bright as it used to be but it’s still so- Naruto. It has the show of wear and tear, telling a story her pristine and ironed clothes don’t. The clothes that she can renew with a snap of her fingers, and the washing that she doesn't do while Naruto just has himself and an empty home.

 

In a different world, she'd be above him. Gloating and squealing over Sasuke-kun while she berated and hurt Naruto. But here, after the mission, Sakura can barely hold herself to hit Naruto outside of spars. His face when he saw Sasuke-kun dead and in her arms forever haunting her. And she can barely make herself cling onto Sasuke-kun's arm and compliment his every move and every jutsu when she'd seen him so vulnerable in Wave.

 

And yet-

 

It makes everything so jarring when she remembers how she was before the mission.

 

Mean and selfish and self-absorbed. It makes her furious at how _spoilt_ she was.

 

So she doesn’t talk that much in their training session, bitterness and adrenaline fueling her punches and when she leaves she doesn’t see the calculating look Sasuke gives her.

 

.

.

.

 

The most daunting thing is her having to- to deal with the businessman.

 

She barely ever interacts with business partners her Father has- only ever getting a glance and a compliment before she’s sent away. But, she’s seen enough. She’s seen them barter and compromise over things she barely understands and-

 

And they’re ruthless. Her Father included.

 

The man is called Shimazaki Gorou, the fifth son of a merchant clan that came to Konoha with their business of trading in and out iron and hemp among other things. Popular among wannabe shinobi and peasants for the side effect of the hemp. His main business, however, is the brothels that go under his name.

 

Sakura doesn’t like the man at all.

 

He’s ugly, crude, poor and has the distinct smell of smoke. He wears an ugly pistachio yukata which has strings and threads falling apart at the hems of the cloth. Obviously, he didn’t get it from a distinguished sewer because there is no seal or pattern which tells a story. The only story it has, are stains all over it and Sakura doesn’t ask as when smirks as he sees her looking.

 

He’s a liar too, Sakura notices eventually.

 

His background story always changes the slightest. He has 3 brothers- a lie because what of his name she pointed out once and the man flushed a deep crimson. Sometimes his mother died from childbirth and other times she lives in the Oak District. Sometimes Yeung came to him begging for help and other times he came to her.

 

Sometimes he’s from a merchant clan in the Land of Stone and other times he’s from a rural town in the Land of Fire, near the city where the Daimyo resides.

 

But the same thing lies at the core of his stories. He’s the fifth son of a merchant clan that came to Konoha and he began the brothel when his business income was drastically lower than it should’ve been.

 

He lies and lies but Sakura knows he tells the truth when he talks about the brothel. His chakra shifts just so and his eyes as well.

 

She has the upper hand in most negotiations surprisingly, her status and uncaring attitude to him making most of his attempts for sympathy ending in a dismissive wave of a hand. She doesn’t care about him but only Yeung and Gorou seems to think that she cares for everyone.

 

She doesn’t and Yeung is someone she’ll protect her life, maybe even as far as to murder for her because Yeung is her _friend_ and her teammates are cold and Yeung isn't.

 

In the end, they come to an agreement, the Haruno Clan shall see to who has prompted a war against them and the small brothel on the corner of the street shall be given protection for invaluable information. Sakura crows in delight when her uncle comes with her and sneers in disdain at the snivelling man near his feet. 

 

Her uncle is her favourite family member, all harsh and cruel edges with a sneer frozen on his face and a scar bisecting on his face because of their rival clan and that reason is the only one that makes Sakura choose her uncle to help this man out.

 

.

.

.

 

Uncle is lying down in the garden his eyes closed when she approaches him quietly. He doesn't rest often but when he does everyone mostly ignores him for their own safety. Harsh edges, a sneer and a sword blessed by Hachiman-sama. Her uncle is nameless- no one ever saying his name and Sakura loves him with all her heart because he’s the only one that seems to know what harm Konoha seems to be doing to their citizens.

 

Which is exactly why she approaches him during his nap, the sun casting soft shadows over his face.

 

“Uncle, Uncle-” she pauses and folds her legs underneath her thighs as he limply gestures at her and the tea. The tea is soothing as she sips it and the bitterness complements the lavender. “Uncle it seems that… the Ieyoshi Clan is taking our supply trails and partnerships down in hopes of lowering our profit and income. Recently I’ve had a businessman approach me and ask us to help him.”

 

“The… Ieyoshi Clan you say? The cowards are still alive?”

 

“It seems so, Uncle. Would you like to-” Sakura stops as her uncle opens his eyes and turns to look at her and Sakura can barely breathe as his stifling chakra comes out as the intent to _kill_. She gulps, she'd forgotten how much he hates the Ieyoshi Clan. "I already spoke with Father and he said that he's never met this man and doesn't entirely care but entrusts this case to you."

 

Uncle shifts and the sword on his hip clinks as he rolls onto his side and smiles. "Tell me more Sakura-chan."

 

His smile is terrifying but it's Uncle so she does exactly that. "Women are being carted from the brothel that this man owns. He says that we earn about 25% with taxes from his brothel which leads me to think that he probably has more- but this is the most popular. Someone in our Clan probably did a deal but Father said we never did so someone went behind our backs to get a deal so that means..."

 

"We might have a weasel, hmm." his voice rumbles in his chest and Sakura fidgets under his stare.

 

She hesitates, Uncle has never really been _in_ the rumour mill so he probably didn't hear about the gossip surrounding Sakura when she'd approached her Father one evening. Father was sober for once at home and didn't hit Mother at all nor her so she'd figured it was a good idea to approach him. And she left feeling more confused than before.

 

He'd answered her questions- _no he's never met this man, oh a brothel owner? Haruto might've seen him. okay bye, sweetie_ \- but she left feeling paranoid as she'd never seen the man smile kindly to her before. 

 

 

"Father says that a man called Haruto might've met with Shimazaki." Sakura pauses as Uncle laughs loudly, a cold sweat appearing on her neck. 

 

Uncle never laughs without something big happening.

 

.

.

.

 

She's on the ground panting, sweating and regretting immensely the impulsive spar against Sasuke-kun she called for but she jolts to attention when her Uncle appears- bristling like a furious lion, snarling out but he looks... pleased in a murderer sort of way- and stalks his way over to her. She’s at training and she knows that Kakashi-sensei has seen the seething man, has seen the irate and oppressive chakra flowing off of her Uncle.

 

Lifting her head, she waves her hand and watches as he paces towards her with startling speed.

 

Belatedly Sakura can hear the click of her uncle's sword on his ankle, the sound echoing around the suddenly silent training ground and then she crumples back onto the ground because her Uncle's chakra has always been overbearing but Uncle never interrupts scheduled appointments or meetings and especially not training so that must only mean one thing and that means he found something  _good._

 

She’s crowing in joy, voice hoarse as she pushes herself up and staggers towards the irate man.

 

“Sakura-” his voice rumbles and she can feel the vibrations through the air but she can’t bring herself to wonder since when her uncle such control over his chakra since he isn’t a shinobi. He’s tall, and towers over her height and Sakura can feel a violent thrum of fondness at the thought of how pleased her Uncle looks.

 

“Excuse me but I’m afraid that I’ve booked this training area so if you need it-” Sakura blinks at the steel edge on Kakashi-sensei’s voice and falters as he appears in front of her. She’s held back with Kakashi-sensei’s hand on her shoulder and she jolts in surprise with how… warm it is. “You’ll have to book it later. And if you need Sakura, you’ll have to see her later as well.”

 

Uncle stares at her and then Kakashi-sensei. 

 

"It's fine Kakashi-sensei, this is my Uncle." she peers around Kakashi's body and beams up at Uncle. "Hi Uncle, did you find anything?" 

 

"Your Uncle?" Kakashi sputters out and he looks at Sakura and then Uncle and then Sakura.  _"Him?"_

 

That's weird, does Kakashi-sensei know Uncle?

 

Her uncle gives Kakashi-sensei a blank stare and steps around her sensei to in front of her. He kneels downs and she can barely breathe, her stomach thrumming to the brim with butterflies and her heart beating rapidly. He places his hands in her shoulders and she almost cries at the smug face he has.

 

“We’ve found something good. But I'll tell later since we're having a Clan meeting,” her uncle intones, a victorious knife-like smile lifting the scar and Sakura is in awe. “And your Father has asked to see you. He's coming back to the Clan house on Saturday, so take your time to meet him and talk.”

 

“Father wants to see me?” she’s breathless, everything's happening so fast, so quickly and her Father wants to see her? The man who comes and goes and Sakura barely knows what he looks like, the only thing staying in her mind is the mocha coloured eyes and hair stained red. “My Father wants to see me? Has Mother seen him?”

 

Her uncle only hums softly and turns on his heel, sword clicking against his ankle and then-

 

Silence.

 

“Sakura-chan-” Naruto is flushed red for some reason and he stares at her with large blue eyes. “Sakura-chan your uncle is so  _fucking cool._ Holy shit- ow, sorry- but holy fuck he’s _cooler_ than _Kakashi-sensei-_ and he's so intimidating?"

 

“Language Naruto-kun,” Kakashi-sensei says and Sakura doesn’t see the wary look or how Sasuke was looking at her like she’s a puzzle. “So that’s your Uncle, Sakura-chan? He’s very…”

 

He trails off and Sakura understands what he means in the words he didn't say. 

 

“Uncle is-” a lifesaver, amazing, a genius, angry, bitter, a _hero_ , furious- “kind of imposing at first. But he’s just excited that we're having progress.”

 

And Sakura stops because if her uncle meant what he said that means something important enough is making them have meetings.

 

“Sakura what’s your Clan apart of again?” Kakashi-sensei’s voice is slow, thoughtful and Sakura looks at him and only sees curiosity and- _fear?-_ but he’s always been kind and the right amount of tough when training so Sakura softly answers him.

 

“Foreigner Union Clan.” she pauses and glances up at her sensei. “I’m the daughter of Haruno Kizashi, the third son in line for the Haruno Patriarchal line. Honourable Grandmother, however, has been in an uproar and developed our Clan since she was given the role in Honourable Grandfathers time of illness. So we're kind of waiting for something to happen.”

 

“Your Clan has been waiting for what, Sakura-chan? Whatta they waiting for?” Naruto asks. "Also woah! Do you have a Clan? That's so cool!"

 

“Well?” Sasuke is blunt as ever and his words don’t seem to ignite the passionate flame of love as it did before. It’s weird but she kind of likes this relationship better. "You going to answer his question?"

 

"We're just waiting." She says stiffly and looks away.

 

Kakashi-sensei looks at her and she wishes she could understand what he's trying to say with his eyes.

 

.

.

.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i hope everyone has a happy christmas tomorrow!
> 
> this chapter is angsty but i hope you like what's happening. i've kind of expanded on her family a little and their dynamics as well as her dependence on yeung. hope it was a nice chapter and if you feel the need to point something out than please do.


	9. words, a language unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sakura and team seven spar. later on, they talk.
> 
> warning: shit fight scenes and eyebrow-raising anatomy and gravity that is NOT real.

Their training session continues but the hole her Uncle left seems to push further into her sensei’s and even Sasuke-kun’s mind. Occasional glances and sometimes Sakura sees something like understanding on Sasuke-kun’s face as the dance around each other with metal flying from the tips of their bruised fingers.

 

Sometimes Sakura wonders about how she feels about Sasuke-kun. The thoughts of the longing and the confusion as she sees blonde and black and silver and everything is a mash of colours all without a splash of warmth. All the colours are cold, bitter and harsh and Sakura doesn’t see it but she does also see the warmth in the black so sometimes she wonders if she _really_ wants to marry him or if she just wants to be his friend.

 

But she can't think about it because she's all iron and sharp edges against the threat opposed to her- the threat that stops her from  _proving them wrong._

 

They've been ignoring her- she but she finally knows why.

 

She’s weak. She's spoilt. So she _needs_ to work _harder_.

 

It’s all a rush of copper and iron and the tang in her mouth as she faces off against Naruto and Kakashi-sensei- Sasuke-kun barking orders short and sharp and herself nodding and darting off to face against the peculiar duo. It’s all harsh edges and the thud thud thud her heart seems to keep beating as soon as she shoves Naruto away with a sloppy uppercut-

 

And Kakashi cuts in, left hand splayed in front of her chest and right handheld half-curled into a fist. He jabs mercilessly at her throat and she chokes on chunks of her bile and saliva. He lunges at Sasuke-kun fingers tearing through hand signs at light speed. A pause. And chakra swells with momentum and peers down on Sasuke-kun.

 

The heat and emotions that chakra channels through slams down on all of them- ragerage _despairagersadnessloneliness_ and he breaks through the silence with a soft sigh and a tilt of the head.

 

“Naruto,” he says and Sakura stops thoughts and emotions and chakra thrumming and waiting to explode and she thinks _Naruto?_ and then she thinks _Naruto._

 

Sakura breathes in crisp, crisp clean air and her feet are fire, magma and lava her arms earth, stone and metal and her body is water, tears and sweat- and her world explodes, earth rising up from Kakashi’s feet and vaulting Naruto over to Sasuke-kun.

 

The orange jumpsuit flies over her head and she bites back a curse and instead stops, breathes, takes a step and throws a kunai at his head and smiles as it pops.

 

Sasuke-kun has his hands scrambling through hand signals as Naruto whoops and lands behind him with 5, 10, 20, 40-- countless others of him surrounding Sasuke-kun. They all pop as the sweltering fire rises like a tsunami of heat and rage and bitterness and Naruto smiles with his teeth and-

 

She’s smacked into attention with her feet over her head. Kakashi is unrelenting and his chakra reeks of bitterness and Sakura can only think of her Uncle all bitter and scars and most of all _honest_ and she can't hold back a choked cry as she’s hit on the bruises where her scars are all bare to the world.

 

Sakura is weak and Kakashi-sensei is strong as can be, he has fingers crooked with old broken bones that grew and folded over with bruises and cuts. Her hands are clean as can be, thin cuts that grow along her palms and fingers stinging from sweat and still, she curses at how useless she is.

 

Sensei is a flurry of chakra and attacks that corner her so much that she can’t think and the furthest thing she’s ever done to fight is to protect Tazuna-san with a kunai glinting off of the sun. Inner screams, a relentless attack of get away, dangerous _movemove_ and Sakura loses any control she had over her body to scramble backwards, dirt and grass pushing into her fingernails and palms.

 

A push and she--

 

She’s shoved back down onto the ground. His hands hover over her throat and she gulps in, stops and spits in his face. He doesn’t blink but she doesn’t stop and throws the dirt in her palms at his eyes with vigor and pushes on his chest with a harsh kick. Sensei wheezes and Sakura barely dwells on the victory, the black blur that pushes her down and serves a burst of flame at the man.

 

His hands connect with hers and she pushes him off, Sasuke-kun using her as a lever to jump above Sensei. The skin where their hands connected peels the tiniest and Sakura grabs the orange jumpsuit and flings him to the silver. A yell and then a pop.

 

.

.

.

 

They finish with Naruto slamming into Sasuke-kun and her, the kunai from his pack littering the ground and cutting into their skin. The blood doesn’t stop pouring from the cuts and Sakura watches with interest as Naruto turns a pale green than grey to splotches of pink.

 

“Oh fuck-- I’m so sorry Sakura-chan! I didn’t mean to hurt you, holy shit the blood. Uhm, uh, do you need to go to the doctor? Oh god-- it’s so red, yuck.” he places a tanned palm over her forearm and Sakura almost collapses in relief. _He doesn’t hate her. They don’t hate her. Thank the Lord--_ “Don’t look at me like that, asshole. Go wash your own cuts you dirty bastard. Or do you want me to wash them for you--”

 

Sasuke-kun flushes, the tips of his ears a bright red as he shoves the shorter male off of him with an added but unneeded shove at the throat. Sakura lets out a giggle and can barely contain her amusement at the younger male’s ire and falls back onto the training ground with a dramatic flourish.

 

“It’s nice to see you smiling again Sakura-chan!” Naruto crows and Sakura feels herself flush, the words warm and full of so much love and happiness. She ducks her head as Naruto lands next to her, smile large and like the sun. “You were so angry and your chakra was always so sharp and cold and it was so hard to talk to you, ya know?”

 

“I-- really?” she mutters and glances over at the bright smile. “I thought you hated me. I was so useless and I finally got it and, uh. And I thought that Sasuke-kun despised me and I ruined this team because of me being so weak and--”

 

“No! Sakura-chan I never thought that.” Naruto is outraged. His face is bright red, eyes quivering and she shrinks below his blue eyes that seemed to have a wisdom 13-year-olds shouldn’t. “You’re super strong and you’re always really cool ya know? And you’re really, really strong. Like, really strong. Like you punched me in a training session once and I’ve had a bruise for a week now.”

 

“Wait really--” Sasuke-kun’s face is of pure glee and suddenly Sakura wonders why she thought of him as stone and marble carved with the tears of the sky. Scathing remarks and burning sarcasm with hints of metallic tones is his voice. She just had to listen and to look further than his looks.

 

“You’ve been blocking us out and well…” Naruto shifts awkwardly, hands clasped behind his head as he lets out a nervous giggle. “We asked Kakashi-sensei to talk to your parents. And uh, we left you alone because we thought you would feel better.

 

“But the thing is, that you were so lonely and you kept on training after our sessions and you were always bruised and before I thought you were just scared, no-- determined to get stronger because of Zabuza but. You got stronger and not happier. And it kind of looked like someone was hitting you so I got really worried too and scared for you.

 

“And I guess I just thought, why does she always look at me like I hurt her and then I got it, ya know? I got! I got that you thought we were leaving you out and thought that we hated you but it was just that I thought _you_ hated me because everyone does and the asshole has been really normal and not stiff-- 

 

“And I keep telling him to do something since he went off but he never does and I keep getting so frustrated because he hurt you but he was hurting too? Just, _Sakura-chan.”_

 

The onslaught of words almost makes her collapse. Her hands shake and her fingers shiver, the stubby but long fingers shaking with such vigour she has to clench them into her palms. Her tongue feels heavy and yet--

 

It feels so  _right._

 

Naruto is a bright light.

 

He’s the sun.

 

He’s the shining that makes the clouds softly glow, the orange and yellow and red all mixing with such elegance that’s unusual with such bright, neon and loud colours. It’s the paleness and the opacity of the sun that filters through clouds and the mist, fog and smog unable to keep the darkness in its bay.

 

He’s also the sun that’s harsh in its light. The brightness too much that it hurts to see, to feel it. There’s a certain heat to the sun when it’s colours are the harsher and hotter side of the spectrum. There's so much anger and emotion and yet there’s that one thing that catches a hold of her, that catches your mind and makes you spin and spin with one hit of the sunray just because.

 

Naruto is just because and he has a way with words that makes Sakura wonder because whores and sluts were his families along with orphans in a systematic hierarchy that depends on the strong eat the weak.

 

But Naruto is full of surprising things and Sakura can’t hold back her smile as he places a tentative hand over her shoulder.

 

She laughs and sits up cross-legged, hands clasped around her ankles. Naruto’s on his back, the earth around them is hard and the grass is coarse from the years of being burned and regrown with a rush of water and dirt and mulch. Sasuke shifts closer and Kakashi-sensei hasn’t left, instead of lounging on his back and his book open on his chest.

 

Sasuke-kun butts in, a small smile lifting the side of his lip. “Yeah, your punches are really effective when they’re used on the right person. Like, bandits, nuke-nin… Naruto, rogue samurai. Things like that.”

 

A squawk and Naruto flails his arms in feigned offence. Sasuke-kun lets out a small snort and Sakura can barely contain herself from laughing and crying. Instantly they panic. Naruto flails a little and Sasuke-kun shifts back but stays near her and she pours everything out to them because she _gets it._

 

Trust goes both ways and yet Sakura’s trust only went to her sensei. None of it to her teammates and she doesn’t but she does. Naruto and Sasuke-kun are hot and cold, interchanging with the seasons and yet, she’s that little pebble. That small insignificant pebble that can be crushed in one hand.

 

“You’re not.”

 

“What? I’m sorry I wasn’t listening can you repeat--”

 

“You’re not as weak as you think. Just because you see yourself every day doesn’t mean that you’ve been worn down.” he pauses and she can’t stop herself from digging her fingernails into her forearms. It stings and yet she can barely think. This is beyond weird, having _Sasuke-kun_ give her a pep talk. “You’re not what you think you are. Stop using your definitions for yourself be different from how you see other's.”

 

“I- I don’t--”

 

“You do,” he pauses again. His eyes flicker uncertainly. “And you were speaking out loud so you must know that you’re not just a pebble. People are worth more than pebbles.”

 

Sakura nods and fixates her gaze to the Hokage Mountain. The Yondaime’s face is carved from the stone of the past, the artist using the photos that no one has seen to create his face at the time he was alive. Sometimes she wonders about the missing photos of one of their most renowned fighters, about his family, about why it’s all gone, about his team that he taught about who they are and yet--

 

It doesn't really matter since she has Kakashi-sensei.

 

.

.

.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! updated after awhile! just so you know, i have not given up for this fic! NO I WILL FINISH THIS. but i'm rlly slow at writing and i actually have a plan for yeung!! and sakura!! and i'm just kinda tired and stuff but do not worry!! i will prevail!!!


	10. oceans, wondering and brothels make a good topic for dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really recommend re-reading this series because i edited it recently to make it more coherent!

Later as Sakura is walking home, she thinks about Sasuke-kun. Was that talk an apology? It still doesn’t soothe the hurt that she felt from his outrage. Still doesn’t soothe the crying she did when she got home nor the isolation she felt when Naruto went over to him. Doesn’t soothe the bitterness and anger and everything that came with the blunt remarks.

 

But perhaps, she muses, this can be a step forward? 

 

She’ll have to talk to Sasuke-kun though, or else she won’t  _ really  _ feel that much better. It’ll probably not be that hard to corner him since he’s been more open recently.

 

(At peace, she would say but Sakura can still see the rage in his eyes, the bitterness and the fear each time he doesn’t complete a jutsu in time. So she doesn’t say at peace. Not when he looks like someone’s hunting after him and every moment.)

 

Maybe, just maybe she and her team can help Sasuke-kun. He looks like he needs some help. He looks like he needs friends more than a wife and Sakura thinks she can do that.

 

Her thoughts drift and she stares at the slowly setting sky, the brilliant blue making her wish that she’d seen the ocean before she left Wave. 

 

Thinks of Naruto’s eyes shining as he turns around to her and Sasuke-kun, the awe and joy in his eyes as he looks at the rivers and water. Thinks of the softness in Sasuke-kun’s eyes as he too looked around in surprise and a little bit of wonder.

 

The overpowering fondness she feels makes her feel as if she’s drowning, the sheer rawness of how much she wants to help them and how much she wants to see their smiles making her gasp and slow to a halt. 

 

The sky is blue, the grass is green and they deserve happiness too.

 

Next time, she vows to herself, she’ll bring Naruto and Sasuke-kun back to see the ocean. 

 

.

.

.

 

As she arrives at her house, Uncle comes out of seemingly nowhere and she’s hit with the fact that they’re having a meeting. He sighs and ruffles her sweaty hair before pushing her inside the house and leads her to the meeting room.

 

“Shouldn’t I… like, wash up?” Sakura asks hesitantly. “I stink and I’m covered in blood and bruises and  _ sweat! _ I’ve got to wash up Uncle. I don’t have to be there right?”

 

“Sorry kid, you’ve got to be in this meeting. Which is now,” he smirks at Sakura’s pained face and opens the door. “Plus they’ve been waiting for you.”

 

As Sakura enters the room she sees that they have in fact been waiting for her. Self-consciously she pats her sweat-dried hair down and pats her clothes down before pulling a sketchy bow and awkwardly sitting down.

 

Looking around the room she feels herself shrink at the bored glances that bounce around her. The people sitting in the room were people she’s never met before so she waits as Uncle settles down on the floor slowly and pours himself a drink.

 

There were about 6 men in the room, all wearing kimonos and having a cigarette or a drink. They all had slicked back hair and heavy jowls and a heavy weight. But their eyes were shining curiously and a couple looked like sharks with the way that they eyed everyone else.

 

They all threw looks at her as she sat awkwardly with her dirt covered and bruise covered arms reached out for the tea. But still, it was silent.

 

One of the men in the room was annoyed. 

 

The rest were amused at his annoyance.

 

“Well?” the man seemed to bark out. “What are we here for, Uncle? I have business to do and this so-called, ‘important meeting’ doesn’t seem so important right now. What’s all this nonsense about anyway, hmm?”

 

Uncle raises an eyebrow and points to Sakura who feels suddenly very vulnerable and afraid as 6 bored looking business men all look at her with interested eyes.

 

“Sakura-chan here was approached by a businessman of the name Shimazaki Gorou,” he pauses and looks at the reactions. “Ah, so you have heard of him. Well, Shimazaki seems to need some… help. His packages are being taken away and returned with damage.”

 

“Shimazaki, aye?” one of them muses. He chuckles a little and pours down another drink. “Yeah, I’ve heard of him. He’s the one who's always changing sides, right? He’s been with our Clan for a couple years. Pretty sure that the twins signed him up with Haruto here.”   
  


Haruto-san glowers at the male and growls out: “Fuck. Off. Katashi.” 

 

So Haruto-san is this man, Sakura thinks to herself.

 

“Don’t want to.” giggles out Katashi-san and he winks at Sakura who feels rather violated when he continues to wink at her until Uncle raises one unimpressed eyebrow and he stops.

 

“So Haruto, what can you say?” Uncle asks and Sakura watches in fascination as Haruto-san straightens and turns to face Uncle head on.

 

“I can’t be sure, I was drunk when he talked to me. Then I fell unconscious so who knows what I said or what he did.” Haruto-san sighs and breathes in his cigarette and exhales a cloud of smoke. “Plus just because I do business with brothels means I know exactly what's happening.”

 

Uncle hums and taps the side of his drink.

 

“Besides for all I know, Shimazaki could’ve drugged my drink,” Haruto-san adds on.

 

They all sit in silence and Sakura shifts just so and starts in surprise as most of the men turn to look at her. Awkwardly she meets their gazes and goes back to her tea.

 

… Yeung made much better tea, she thinks petulantly. 

 

“So what does Sakura-chan think then?” one of them breathes out. He catches her gaze and she freezes as he lets out a sharp bark of laughter. “Can she think of something?”

 

His tone is mocking and she flushes angrily at his condescending tone. She  _ definitely  _ doesn’t like this one and she clutches at her cup tightly. 

 

“Shut up Takeshi.” Uncle grunts out and the man, Takeshi twitches angrily and harrumphs to himself. Uncle turns an appraising look at her. “Do you have any ideas or thoughts Sakura?”

 

“Have you asked the sex-workers for what happened?” she asks. “If you give them the idea that if we catch the person who did it and that they’d get a job or safety… we could probably get some information out of them.”

 

“And?” Uncle prods, apparently seeing through the facade of her hesitance.

 

“If we matched up their stories we can get a lead. Shimazaki didn’t tell us how many women were being taken and how many months this has been going on so we’ll have to go through his records. See what the link is.” 

 

A rumble goes through the room and she realises that it’s Haruto-san laughing. 

 

“She’s smart, Uncle. Smart for a soldier.” Haruto-san pauses and looks her over. “What are you? 10 years old? Pretty young to be a soldier, don’t you think?”

 

“Smarter than you. Probably stronger too though she’s younger,” says one. They ignore Haruto-san’s outraged splutter and turn to her and Uncle. “It’s a good plan, but I would recommend going to the twins. The rumour mill hasn’t been too kind to them for a reason.”

 

“I see your point, Shinobu,” Uncle says and he turns to Sakura. “I want you to come with me to the Deer District to see the twins. You’ll be helpful”

 

Sakura splutters, choking on her drink when Uncle promptly ignores her.

 

“Uncle,” calls out another. “Is that smart? They’ll react badly and won’t give you any information.”

 

“That’s the point Osamu,” Uncle says with such confidence that Osamu-san backs down with a bow of his head and after that, they wrap up the meeting and Sakura goes to her room with more questions than answers. 

 

.

.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that's some business men that sakura met! all of them are related to her but they're not really going to appear much after this shimazaki arc!! i've actually planned something out for this story for once so please be patient as i continue to write!! 
> 
> also thank you so much for being patient with me!! school really sucked out the life in me and i couldn't write without being anxious and jittery so hopefully i can be a bit more scheduled!


	11. the doors are closed until forced open

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sakura goes back to yeung to finish her mission.
> 
> //warnings for: panic attack

When Sakura gets to the training ground, she zeros onto Sasuke-kun and Naruto talking. Actually talking, no shouting or fighting or annoyed faces but  _ talking.  _ So Sakura bounds over to them with a cheerful hello and watches in amusement as they fall over themselves at her appearance.

 

Naruto blushes and he gestures at her pleased smile. “Sakura-chan you look really happy?”

 

She nods and she just settles on beaming because words can’t settle on how much her whole body is  _ radiating  _ pleasure and satisfaction with what they’d be doing later on.

 

Today, they’re going back to Yeung's house to finish it’s clean it up. Over the past couple of days, they’d managed to finish outside the house and were now moving to the inside. 

 

D-Ranks were usually a couple days long depending on what they had to do and their longest mission had been the one in Wave which spanned over 2-3 weeks. Yeung’s one was unusually long but they had been renovating her whole entire house.

 

“Yeah of course she is, we’re going to Yeung-san’s house.” Sasuke cuts in with a frown and Sakura blinks at the tone in his voice. “They’re friends, dumbass.”

 

“Oh,” Naruto says. “Oh yeah, I forgot.”

 

She watches the shift on their faces and scowls at them.

 

“Yeung’s my friend,” she replies. “And she deserves one as well. So don’t be rude just because she’s a prostitute alright? She’s nice and I really like her. She’s not a bad influence you know? Plus I haven’t seen her in a while so of course, I’m happy to see her soon.”

 

The two boys subside in their grumbling and Naruto smiles a small soft thing she’s never seen on his face before and entwines their arms together as he leads her onwards to Yeung, muttering a weak 'sorry' in her ear that makes her laugh.

 

As she walks next to Naruto, his laughter loud and his smile something kind and affectionate she grins because this day really seemed to be going very nicely.

 

.

.

.

 

When they get to Yeung’s house she doesn’t come outside to greet them, which makes Sakura nervous because that only happened once. They slow as they come closer to the house, falling to a complete stop in front of her house and Sakura feels her chest tighten.

 

The house looked immensely better from when Sakura first saw it; walls free of slurs, anger and broken glass, trash and weeds cleared away to leave a more inviting look. 

 

The door had been repainted and fixed from its slanted and broken swing.

 

The door was fixed, looked new and did not look like it was broken in with an axe.

 

“Fuck,” Sasuke-kun says and Sakura numbly blinks at the scene in front of them.

 

What was also new was their sensei, standing in front of the house with her Uncle. Sensei had a frustrated air to him, but his hands stay in his pockets but they hear his sharp words as they edge closer and he turns to them with a crinkled smile and a bit of relief in his posture.

 

Uncle smiles at Sakura and she blinks nervously at the air around the two men.

 

It’s tense as if one of them provokes the other they won’t hesitate to fight.

 

It’s unsettling to see the two like that.

 

“Sensei?” Naruto asks, his face a little pale and he instinctively reaches out for her and Sasuke-kun, pulling them closer together. “Why’s uh, Uncle here?”

 

Sakura blinks again.

 

“Ah, Sakura-chan,” Kakashi-sensei reaches out for her and she steps closer, welcoming the ruffle on her head as she stares at the door. “You guys came just in time. Uncle here is going to go over what happened.”

 

Uncle steps forward and Naruto stands next to Sakura, back straight and head tilted up as he stares the man up. Sakura can see Sasuke-kun glowering at Uncle and huffs a weak laugh.

 

“Oi, Uncle! What happened to Yeung?” Naruto snaps out weakly and Sakura lays a hand on his and stares imploringly at her Uncle. “Tell Sakura or I’ll- I’ll...”

 

Unce steps forward, taking her own hands into his and looks into her eyes.

 

“Did you know where she worked Sakura?”

 

Sakura shakes her head but the churning of her stomach makes her not want to hear what comes out next. She has an inkling of what's going on but Inner nudges her to listen for Yeung’s sake.  _ Do it for her,  _ she says.

 

“I investigated the prostitutes as you said to and I found out that 12 women had been taken from Shimazaki Gorou’s brothel under his nose. Only about 6 were returned afterwards,” Uncle holds Sakura’s hands tighter. “This went over 7 months until someone wanted a new woman. Someone different from the local women.”

 

Sakura whimpers and the burning sensation of bile steadily snakes up her throat. 

 

Yeung? Was taken away and sold to someone who wanted to play with her? Yeung with her smiles and soft touches and tea that warms Sakura’s stomach and heart?  _ Yeung? _

 

Sakura zones back into Naruto growling out a ‘get away from her!’ and she looks at Uncle as he slowly rises up and backs away. She can feel a cool hand on her neck and she looks at Sasuke-kun, his eyes dark and with a promise to help.

 

“Leave, you always bring havoc wherever you go.” Kakashi-sensei seethes, crouching in one fluid motion in front of her and he smooths the hair falling over her eyes to the side. “Do you want him gone, Sakura?”

 

She shakes her head because Uncle was still talking.

 

“Do you understand what I mean Sakura?” Uncle asks slowly and Sakura stares blankly at the scar going through the right side of his cheekbone down through his lips and disappearing into the collar of his jacket. “Sakura respond to me.”

 

Yeung.

 

“Y-Yeung?” she stammers out and Sakura couldn’t decide if she was going mad or giving up hope altogether. Shoving her clenched fist into her mouth, she silently screamed into it, suffocating slowly as the words hammered a soundless war into her mind.

 

Yeung. Yeung.  _ Yeung. _

 

Perhaps if Yeung wasn’t taken she wouldn’t have helped him more personally after the knowledge of the other women but it’s  _ Yeung.  _

 

Yeung whose been taken away from her home to someone they don’t know with motives unknown and Sakura thinks her mind racing and she comes to the conclusion that-

 

“I’ll kill them.”

 

.

.

.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i know 2 updates in 1? preposterous! but i really felt it today so here ya go! it's uh, angsty and is falling into the arc as they go off and find what's happening to yeung and who bought her as well as soon they'll go to the twins!!


	12. ranks and ladders are to be climbed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sakura and inner scream and uncle takes them to the deer district.

Sakura’s crying.

 

She’s crying but her face is blank and her chest feels hollow and her cheeks cold as the tears fall down them. Her hands shake, her knees tremble and the only thing holding her up was the white noise in her head.

 

She’s crying but Inner is _screaming_.

 

Sakura is weak and crying but Inner is strong and screaming.

 

“Uncle.” Inner is edging into her slowly, the screaming never stopping but Inner is strong and Sakura weak so she allows her to speak for once. Allows the fury and venomous acidity in her voice to slide in, allows the hollowness in her chest to change from grief to hate.

 

Inner falters because of Sakura- Sakura who falters at the foreign emotions building in her throat. Sakura who falters whenever there’s a fight.

 

Sakura who suddenly feels very afraid of Inner.

 

 _Shut up_ , Inner coldly says before Sakura is shoved back and outcomes Inner with all her emotions that Sakura carefully packed away with a red ribbon on top.

 

“Uncle,” Inner says, rawness in her throat and hatred on her tongue. “Let's go to the Deer District. I think we need to have a chat with a certain pair of twins.”

 

Uncle smiles with the fury of all the Gods of War have, and Inner- Inner snarls angrily as someone swivels her around forcefully, their grip tight.

 

“Sakura do really want to go with him now?” Kakashi-sensei asks and she stares blankly at him because Sakura isn’t here but Inner and Inner is _always_ sure.

 

Kakashi-sensei sighs and he buries his face in his hands and Inner slowly bleeds out and Sakura slips in between the cracks that she left in her fury.

 

She looks over at her teammates.

 

Naruto’s face is pale and his hands shake as they reach out for her. Sakura lets his warm palms crawl up her forearms onto her shoulders and allows him to whisper into her ear.  Once, she would’ve shaken him off, fury filling her veins and disgust at him touching her but Sakura allows the warm blanket that Naruto is to fall over her.

 

“Are you really going to kill whoever took Yeung-san?” Sasuke-kun asks and Sakura looks at his face, the blankness and the borderline crazed look in his eyes.

 

She moves to say something when Uncle interrupts.

 

“Oi. Don’t involve Sakura with your stupid fucking brother-obsession.” he murmurs sharply and Sasuke-kun steps away, an obstinate look painting his pale face.

 

Uncle catches Sakura’s eyes, jerking his head back and Sakura gently extracts Naruto’s hands from hers and pushes him back to Sasuke-kun and Kakashi-sensei. His eyes go flinty and she shivers as he stares mulishly up at Uncle, his eyes wide and a brilliant blue.

 

Naruto looked… inhumane and wild.

 

“Sakura-chan,” Naruto says and Sakura shivers as his voice deepens and his pupils sharpen. And then he blinks and the moment is gone as soon as it happened.

 

“I’ll be back as soon as I’ve found Yeung, OK?” she says to him and she watches as  Kakashi-sensei makes an aborted motion to stop her before he froze, eye stuck over her shoulder before he looked back down at her and gave her a nod of acquiescence.

 

“I expect you to be back for training on Thursday,” he says and he gives Uncle a pointed, flat stare. “Don’t disappoint me _again_ , Uncle.”

 

Uncle huffs a sardonic laugh, waving two figures at Sensei. Kakashi-sensei grunts in annoyance and Sakura watches their dynamic with wondering eyes before remembering herself and bowing deeply to her team leader.

 

“Thank you Sensei--” she repeats thankfully, bowing repeatedly and jolts to attention at his amused sigh his hand pushing her back straight up. “Really, thank you.”

 

Naruto opens his mouth to say something when-

 

“Alright, enough goodbyes. Let's go now.” Uncle says and he hoists her up under her his right arm and knocks a salute to her watchful sensei and wide-eyed teammates before he leaps up onto a nearby roof.

 

His sword digs into her hips and she shifts uncomfortably when Uncle increases his pace and leaps across the building, barely landing before he starts running again.

 

She wheezes in pain, the thud each time Uncle landed on a different building clicking her teeth together painfully. The buildings blur past when she tries to see where they are but when she looks forward all she sees is a gap that’s at least a building or two widths length away. She stifles a choked shriek as Uncle leans forward, her face almost touching the roof tiles and then-

 

They’re in mid-air, nothing to hold them and weightless for all of 2 seconds before they come crashing back down, Sakura’s loud cry echoing around them.

 

.

.

.

 

The Deer District is different from what she’s used to, Sakura thinks, eyeing the stacked apartments on one side of a suburb and the towering houses with windows and doors in every crook and nanny. It’s a strange mix, the accessibility for the shinobi stark and obvious and the everyday shops for the civilians just underneath said shinobi routes.

 

Everything seems so peaceful, the civilians bustling around and a shinobi with dried flakes of blood walking through the street with no care in the world.

 

Sakura lives in her Clan home, a large 2 story house with enough space to fit all of her Academy classmates and they would still be able to walk around without any fuss. She lives in a civilian area, a rich civilian area albeit and the obviousness of shinobis walking around with their weapons and the civilians didn’t even flinch away?

 

Surreal.

 

But it was nice, seeing that shinobi and civilians alike could walk together for a new future. Shaking her head she shoots a subtle glance at her Uncle and threads the determination that lined her spine just moments before, to be frank with him.

 

Inner snorts and Sakura spits out a poisonous go back to screaming before returning her attention back to her Uncles, suddenly interested eyes.

 

“Uncle, what did the women say?” she asks, joining her and Uncles arms together in a clunky hold. He glances down at her and her serious expression.

 

“The businessman gave me their addresses and I approached them.” he paused and Sakura had the succinct feeling he wasn’t saying everything that happened when a shudder ripples through his frame. “4 women confirmed that they were taken away by the Ieyoshi Clan; said that a young highly influential male trying to prove something to someone really high up in the ladder. Said that he’s trying to climb up and present information that could get him along in his career as well as earn someone’s trust.”

 

Sakura frowns, wondering what it might mean until her heart stutters when she really starts to think. The only _real_ ladder in Konoha there is to climb are the ranks. Ranks aren’t everything in the world of shinobi- with there being politics and such. But even then, the political sides of things escapes most shinobi accept the Clan Heads and those other occasionally influential soldiers. Even then the only shinobi that are high-ranking and have a proficient amount of influence are really included with highly-sensitive information that the Clan Heads hear alongside with the Hokage.

 

Besides, those were the people that the public know has a countries downfall of information on their shoulders. So what about those that they don't know?

 

She chews her lip, brow meshed together as Uncle patiently awaits her answer.

 

But this taking of women and returning them meant he didn’t really want… whatever he does with them but to catch the attention of someone who works in that sort of area. The sort of business that Konoha dusts the top off and wraps in a bow before ignoring it. The sort of business that someone high above her paygrade plays around with.

 

The acidic taste in the back of her throat made another appearance as she slowly made through to her answer.

 

If the Ieyoshi Clan member is trying to get someone’s attention with brothel members doesn’t that mean that he might’ve already had contact with the person he wanted? It’s been going on for 7 months and even Sakura heard whispers, albeit before she met Yeung who had a more in-depth perspective to it.

 

“Did he-” she starts and stops chastened and a little bit frustrated as Uncle interrupted her.

 

“Apparently, this Ieyoshi member only started using Shimazaki’s workers until 7 months ago,” Uncle remarks as if he was talking about the quality of a fruit. “And that before that he was seen walking away with a man. Then all of this started happening.”

 

But-

 

Inners scream suddenly stops and Sakura stops. Her knuckles are white and shaking but Inner chants slowly and with intent to _kill them, kill them, kill them-_

 

But if-

 

“He’s _already_ made contact with the person he wanted?” she questions in disbelief, turning her head in rage as she thinks through her jumbled thoughts. “And then- he’s still doing this? All this and he’s gotten what he’s wanted already? The connections, the man he met and-”

 

Uncle raises his hand, effectively silencing her as she pulls herself to attention.

 

“He also has someone besides his side every moment. Someone that did all the dirty work,” he murmurs, not breaking his stare with Sakura. “A person named Shinko.”

 

“Shinko?”

 

Uncle smiles slowly, his eyes crinkling warmly and yet his eyes were blank. She feels her pulse flutter in fear and wonders if this is why her Clan adheres to his every request.

.

.

.

 


	13. twins are a fury to be held to

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the twins are a strange lot to be related to; full of hatred and bitterness but sakura isn't any stranger to any of those - so these twins won't beat her down just yet. 
> 
> /// warnings for: swearing? attempted murder? family drama?? being an ass???

When they get to the twins house Sakura is exhausted. 

 

Sakura is exhausted because she doesn’t think she can handle any more than what she’d found out. Doesn’t think she can handle what she might see when she sees Yeung and doesn’t think she will be able to handle seeing Yeung being broken.

 

Sakura is exhausted but-

 

Inner is silent and Sakura hones in on that because Inner is never silent, always saying something, always buzzing with white noise in the back of her head but never  _ silent.  _ Sakura nudges the tightly bound ball that Inner is and flinches back when she lashes back.

 

Sakura stays behind Uncles, wishing that she could just  _ stop  _ shaking or else she would’ve stood next to him. Inner’s form moves closer to her heart and Sakura watches incredulously as her heart shakily and very steadily begins to slow down.

 

Unsettled, Sakura glances up at the door that Uncle just knocked on and startles badly as it’s wrenched open almost instantly, a man appearing in distress and his face pale, a cigarette hanging loosely between his lips.

 

_ “Hyo _ , thank the Lord you’re here-” he stops and Sakura looks at him in wonder, his hair almost the same colour as her own and his eyes a startling pit of black. “You’re not Hyo.”

 

“No.” Uncle states matter of factly. He taps his hand on his sword. “I’m Uncle.”

 

_ And I'm Sakura, _  Sakura mockingly whispers into her hands and jumps as Uncle hits the back of her head.  _Bastard._

 

The man stops, recognition fluttering across before he suddenly smiles.

 

Sakura examines his face, his round eyes reminding her of her Mother and his mess of a hair 3 shades darker than her Fathers red-hair. 2 moles in a line were on his left cheek, below his eyes and she watched as he hastily shoved his cigarette pack into his pocket. He’s attractive but maybe that’s because Sakura thinks he looks like her Mother.

 

_ He’s young _ she thinks, shaking her head to rid thoughts. Only in his 20s by the looks of it and he feels young; all young drawn features and a cigarette in hand.

 

“Uncle?” he asks and he inhales through his cigarette and puffs out a cloud. “I’ve heard of you. You’re quite infamous you know? All my associates say to avoid you at night. And even Friend-Killer thinks you’re a sight to be seen and that’s speaking of  _ him.” _

 

Uncle scoffs and waves a dismissive hand that says:  _ be quiet -  _ and when the man doesn’t quieten - looks promptly put out that someone didn’t follow his orders.

 

“Weren’t you in that squadron? The one that takes those-”

 

Uncle puts his hand on his sword, unsheathing it with a push of his thumb and showing the barest of the blade. The man stops his gaze on the sword and smiles. 

 

“Sorry,” he says, looking not very sorry. “Is that a sore subject?”

 

Uncle bares his teeth. “If you don’t shut your mouth you’ll find yourself in that situation you’ve been trying to avoid for so long,  _ Kenshin.” _

 

_ ('Kenshin?'  _ Inner suddenly says _'We've heard of him before. Father mentioned him-'_. Sakura rolls her eyes and says _: '_ _Father would never associate himself with this... man.')_

 

 

Kenshin-san sneers face twisting cruelly and he barks out a nasty: “As if you can talk. All you do is thread your fingers in the shadows and hope that you can cut the head off.”

 

“You sound like you have experience,” Uncle drawls.

 

Kenshin-san jolts back and he visibly holds himself from launching himself at Uncle, his knuckles a pale green-white and his jaw grinding before he breathes in and smiles sunnily. Humming softly, he suddenly steps backwards face blank and stares sickeningly kind at Uncles' face.

 

“I’m going to ask you to leave, Uncle,” Kenshin-san says and moves to close the door.

 

Uncle’s face flickers in surprise and before he can say anything else as disastrous as before Sakura moves from her spot behind him and bows deeply.

 

“Please hear us out!” Sakura shouts, unable to contain herself and Kenshin-san jolts in surprise, his cigarette falling from his fingers. “ _ Please _ Kenshin-san!”

 

_ Yeung needs me, _ Sakura thinks and her ferocity is red-hot iron and sharp and Kenshin-san flinches under the molten desperation that came out of her chakra and then he straightens.

 

His gaze swings to her and she stills as his eyes widen and something cruel and then sympathy? And then… something like determination flickers through his eyes. Swiftly, Kenshin-san moves towards her, his head leaning forward and almost a breath away and he looks into her eyes, looks at her face and then looks at her hair.

 

Kenshin-san tilts his own head and hums softly, taking out his cigarette with one hand and steps back, inhaling his cigarette and then breathes out smoke with a cough.

 

Sakura swallows nervously when he stares into her eyes again, seconds turning in a minute and then 2 minutes and then he pulls back, hand still on her arm.

 

“Alright,” Kenshin-san says suddenly, an expression that seemed infinitely times more genuine than the ones before. “You can come in. Don’t leave yet.”

 

Uncle mutters underneath his breath and shoulders his way in. Sakura follows him in, hesitates and shoots a nervous glance as Kenshin-san continues staring at her with a thoughtful look on his face.

 

Kenshin-san blinks when he notices her looking and then smiles genuinely, his smile transforming his face into a normal young man.

 

She shivers as a sadistic twist of his lips vividly reminds her of Zabuza.

 

.

.

.

 

Haruno Kenshin was a whirlwind of scathing remarks and subtle masks that Sakura didn’t catch until they changed at the next moment. 

 

Uncle’s face progressively went darker as Kenshin-san laughed and mocked his scar.

 

Sakura pulled into herself as Uncle's face got more murderous with each mocking remark.  _This... is not good._

 

After he finishes mocking Uncle he turns to her, he smiles and his face then never left the thoughtful and introspective gaze that followed her around the room. Sakura makes eye contact, furrowing her brow in a question and watches in aversion as his eyes glint coldly.

 

(She can’t look away from the frighteningly blank eyes. They're as empty as can be and Sakura can only watch as Sasuke lays at her feet, as Kakashi-sensei's body cools in the dingy bedroom and can't look away from the blood running through Zabuza's teeth, running down his neck, running and running and running-)

 

He turns away and the pull she felt evaporates and she turns her eyes onto Uncles annoyed demeanour as Kenshin-san walks away from the room and talks in hushed tones with someone else out of view.

 

And then he walks back out and says with his blank eyes and warm smile: “Want some tea, Sakura-chan?”

 

Glancing over to Uncle, she nods hesitantly.

 

“Kimiko-” he calls out and he stops. “It’s not Hyo. So black tea.”

 

“Okay.” it’s a woman's voice but her tone sets Sakura’s hairs on edge. It’s so hollow and Sakura wonders what could’ve happened to make it like that.

 

Uncle starts laughing and Sakura perches forward, tenseness lining her shoulders.

 

The lady comes out and Sakura fights to hold back a blush because- she’s attractive and more than that, she’s got a distinctive face that somehow comes out as a sharp beauty. 

 

Sakura rugs at her own long locks and sniffs as she feels all the knots and sweat and split ends crumble through her fingers.

 

But the mulish stare and the blank eyes make Sakura want to rip out her kunai’s and drive them into her eyes so she no longer has to look at this hollow hulk.

 

Uncle goes quiet and Sakura shoots him a look when his face goes blank with something like… recognition flickers behind his eyes when he looks at the twins.

 

“Hello,” she says quietly, her head bowed and maybe it was meant to come off as demure but her words are stilted and Sakura can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t real. “My name is Kimiko-”

 

And then she raises her head and looks directly at Sakura.

 

She’d come in holding a tray with tea on it and promptly dropped it, the teacups smashing onto the ground and the hot liquid dripping into the floorboards. Her gaze never left Sakura’s and Sakura flinches as the lady’s jaw clenches, the grinding echoing in the surprisingly spacious feeling room before taking quick steps before her and raises her hand and it comes crashing down onto her neck-

 

Sakura reacts instantly, the manic drilling Kakashi-sensei finally,  _ finally  _ paying off and she has a kunai in her hand angled against the hollow of Kimiko-san’s neck.

 

Kimiko’s breathing heavily, the need to kill that slips under Sakura’s skin and into the marrow of the brittle bone that holds her arm up. It hurts badly and Sakura is crying like a baby but this hatred towards her? This fear and despair and bitterness that runs through her veins like acid  _ hurts  _ so badly that Sakura can barely breathe.

 

Uncle holds his still sheathed sword against her temple and Sakura feels Inner rise up, the hulking shape overpoweringly distracting, but she shakes her off because she  _ can  _ deal with this but then she notices-

 

Kenshin hasn’t moved and Sakura’s mind is screaming that this is wrong, wrong,  _ wrong. _

 

“Hmm,” Kimiko says and Sakura barely fights back the snarl Inner is wearing. “So you’re… _Sakura-chan?_ Born under Haruno Kizashi?”

 

Sakura jolts at the mention of her Father, the kunai nicking deeply into Kimiko’s throat and Sakura allows Inner to enjoy the swell of joy at the sight. She doesn’t think about the fact that she did too and instead focus on the enraged look on Kimiko and Kenshin’s faces.

 

The courage that builds up in her throat, the feeling of being powerful shakes her body and Sakura thinks,  _ ‘ah, is this why Kakashi-sensei is always so calm?’ _

 

“And you’re the Bastard Twins?” Sakura croons and watches as Kimiko flinches.  _Flinches!_

 

The fists that held around her neck tightened and Sakura gags, her breath short and choked as thumbs push into her windpipe and she can't see- 

 

Uncle pushes Kimiko back and she stumbles, her balance off centre before she falls onto her behind fury painting her face in grey and her fists in red. Sakura pushes herself to her puny height of 5’0” and palms the kunai so it rests comfortably against her wrist. 

 

“We’re no bastards,” Kimiko shrieks. "You  _fucking_ devil made us like this, if only you'd never been born-"

 

.

.

.

  
  



End file.
